A
I am trapped being ME.
There's so much on my mind that I wanna share that I don't know where to start, so many thoughts are racing through my head. I always wanna write everything or sum it up from a to z, but I don't know how to put everything in order, because first of all i'm illiterate and innarticulate. I'm a social phobic and I'm paranoid I already know what people will think of me and i don't blame them, i become what im fearing to become. I am afraid i'm becoming like my father. Im the worse of the worse, its a vicious circle, I feel so stupid after i say anything to anyone, im probably bipolar. im questioning my motivations for writing here, i dont wanna complain to ppl with bigger problems, i guess im trying to see if anyone can explain this or relate to anything im saying, ive tried starting a thread 100 times, each time deleting everything. I envy the persons who are are articulate on these boards, and i really hate them at the same time. Alright, this is whats been bothering me and preventing me from sharing my story, haha, now that u people understand this its easier to share it,, but i feel so pathetic and miserable to share it, i really dont want to, I have as much trouble opening up on the internet as i do in real life, I regret having opened up before, people dont care, they wished ud shut ur mouth since they cant help u, they feel sorry for u, and that makes u even more depressed, so i dont understand the persons on these boards telling us to open up. no one cares,
ps english is not mother tongue
i might delete everything i wrote if i start feeling pathetic
There's so much on my mind that I wanna share that I don't know where to start, so many thoughts are racing through my head. I always wanna write everything or sum it up from a to z, but I don't know how to put everything in order, because first of all i'm illiterate and innarticulate. I'm a social phobic and I'm paranoid I already know what people will think of me and i don't blame them, i become what im fearing to become. I am afraid i'm becoming like my father. Im the worse of the worse, its a vicious circle, I feel so stupid after i say anything to anyone, im probably bipolar. im questioning my motivations for writing here, i dont wanna complain to ppl with bigger problems, i guess im trying to see if anyone can explain this or relate to anything im saying, ive tried starting a thread 100 times, each time deleting everything. I envy the persons who are are articulate on these boards, and i really hate them at the same time. Alright, this is whats been bothering me and preventing me from sharing my story, haha, now that u people understand this its easier to share it,, but i feel so pathetic and miserable to share it, i really dont want to, I have as much trouble opening up on the internet as i do in real life, I regret having opened up before, people dont care, they wished ud shut ur mouth since they cant help u, they feel sorry for u, and that makes u even more depressed, so i dont understand the persons on these boards telling us to open up. no one cares,
ps english is not mother tongue
i might delete everything i wrote if i start feeling pathetic
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