I dont know what to do anymore The friendships ive had, ive lost, or killed off, just being my own stupid self Its a lonely world and all i wont to do is make myself even more isolated, more alone. Im trying to stay afloat, keep my head. Not drinking, walking, exercising as much as I can. Im finally starting to see some results, but ill never be what I want to be, never look good enough. I dont fit in here, but i have nowhere else to go. Theres nothing out there for me. The entire fucking internet, and theres nowhere that I fit in. I hate how this place makes me feel at times. The way it makes me feel "apart from everyone" for different reasons. Makes me feel a freak. Out of maybe a dozen people I use to talk to regularly 6 months ago, I now speak to 1 person :sad:. It hurts to think about it, but its my own fault. Cant connect with people, push people away when things are hard, ppl move on to someone more interesting, or my emotions get out of control...Whatever it is, I constantly fuck up. What makes it even harder is i dont even like talking. Im not somebody that can chat away for hours about mmmm crap? or just dribble on about stuff thats old news, or been done a billion times before. Its tired, its done, kill it, bury it. Maybe other people are just as boring as I am. I see all these other couples and the jealousy I have is just huge. Whether it works or it doesn't, at least they have someone in there lives for a time, someone to motivate them to keep going. Its so damn hard on your own. Anyway, heard this far too many times i know... I HATE myself with a passion. :sad: P.S to someone who was curious...simple example, no voice over, drawing/flash as yet. "Stinking, swarming, narratives in blood" "A life in tides, a life in flood" call it a gothic series lol.