for anyone who knows the feeling of being caged; trapped; imprisoned. its a terrible feeling. knowing you are helpless with no place to run or hide. no chance of escape as you are far too weak and slow. but what about to be trapped within your own self??? i feel this way everyday. every damn day. im trapped in this body, this "shell" as some put it... but none the less. i'm here, in my own prison, on a daily basis. and how can you escape from yourself? how can you run from your own shadow? there is no escaping... aside from the rather obvious. and im guessing that is the rout i will have to take because i refuse to live in torment much longer. its a living nightmare. stuck within a prison with which there is no key, and no releif as its physically impossible to become another person. its constant hell, from the time i wake up to the time i close my eyes to sleep. i just have to get out. i think im actually a nice person, sometimes i can be a bitch, but i have alot of anger towards god i guess if you will. god or whoever, whatever, for putting me in this body. alot of anger, and bitterness, and jealousy towards others as i would give anything to not be myself. but none the less, i think im a nice person. i have made alot of mistakes. blah blah blah.. but im still a nice person, yet it makes little to no difference. because i will never be able to accomplish anything as myself, not that i'm incapable, just why do it? at the end of the day i would still be me. i would still be trapped. still be absolutley misserable. still have to look myself in the mirror. still stuck in this hell. i'm so tired of this, i just want relief and peace of mind. and for me, this can only be acheived one way. distractions and friends are good... but as i've said. at the end of the day, i'm still myself. i can't deal with this. i can't. i love sleep, and i dont put that statement lightly.. sleep is my only escape, the only time i can get away from reality and myself, and not have to be caged... but now, i cant even sleep. i slept for 3 hours earlier today, thats it. so now here i am, right back to this hell, this constant torment which is my "life". i don't want to be trapped anymore. this is not life... not at all. i cant do this, its just too much. i just want to be FREE and at peace, be able to sleep forever.... i hope my day will come.