I watched a show knowing it would trigger me but I still watched it. What followed was about an hour of mutilating myself. Theres no where for me to turn. I've got 3 ideas of what to do at the moment. Part of me wants to just kill myself and get it over with. Another part of me wants to cause incredible pain and suffering in someone to try to lower them to how I am feeling now. And 1 tiny sliver of me wants to get help, which I won't do. I have nowhere to turn in life and nowhere to turn on this forum either. I'm too shy to reply to anything anyone says to me here. I've got nowhere else to turn and I'm thinking my first option is sounding really good right about now.