Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Sil3nt, Sep 3, 2009.

  1. Sil3nt

    Sil3nt New Member

    Honestly, I dont know what else to say. I feel like a complete fuck-up whenever I talk to my mom. She always rants to me about stupid things and whenever I lose my patience, which I always do, she yells at me and threatens me. It always ends up with a guilt trip, except the trips continually build up inside.
    I just snapped earlier. I never told anyone about how I wanted to just die. While she was yelling at me, I felt dead. As if nothing in the world mattered. Then I just told her right then, "I don't want to live..."
    I'm an utter failure as a person. I can't be like everyone else. My parents keep trying to change me, even though they know I won't change by force. Even when I tell them the honest truth, they would just yell at me about it. If I lie, I'd still get yelled at. I cant stand this yelling anymore... This is only half of it. I haven't even gotten to my failure in the last 17 years of my life. Never had a girlfriend, found it hard to make friends after going into high school, and never felt part of anything. I guess this sounds as if it's nothing when reading it. I don't know why, but everything just feels at least hundred-fold painful inside......
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It doesn't sound like nothing to me It sounds like you are in alot of pain. If your parents are in denial about your depression then you need to call hospital and get help for yourself. You need to call crisis team and tell them you feel trapped no where to go. Tell them you need someone to come out and help you. They can talk to your parents take you to a home for awhile where you feel safe and can breath easier. If your parents won't get you the support you deserve to get rid of this depression and pain then you go get it .. You can do this call crisis and tell them you need help. You are someone very important and you deserve to be happy start doing this for you start the process to get help to make yourself stronger. Call now okay take care