Trapped

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Obsessive, Apr 2, 2011.

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  1. Obsessive

    Obsessive Well-Known Member

    My mother always makes me feel so worthless, but I have no choice but to live with her because I'm too weak and stupid to manage anything on my own with all my problems. 24 and I'm too depressed, socially anxious, and just plain have too many mental problems to manage a full-time job to even afford a car, still sucking miserably at college, and too much of a freak to have a social life. All I can do is wait for the end. Why does it have to take so long? People die every day, but I'm not one of the lucky ones...
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Is there not group living where you can learn to live independantly get the skills you need to take care of your own life among other people who are also learning and under care of professionals that want you to succeed hugs
     
  3. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Hey, I'm 24 too! And I suck at college! And I'm currently passively suicidal!

    That puts me at a disadvantage here. I'd be giving such hypocritical advice, even I would feel uneasy.

    Sorry that you have to live with someone who makes you feel worthless. I'm kind of forced into that position, too. I used to live at school, but...something about it broke me, and I just shattered. Next thing I know I'm living at home again, listening to everyone argue about stupid shit.

    I have no advice, just thought I'd try to relate so you didn't feel totally alone.
     
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    is there another relative that you could live with?

    maybe try family therapy? idk

    I wonder if there is a school that you could go to where you could live in a dorm, but that was affordable and where you could get some support.
     
  5. Obsessive

    Obsessive Well-Known Member

    There is, but there's a very long waiting list - like 3 years so I hear. And we're moving in 2 and a half years, at which point my dad's planning to do a joint condo agreement with me.

    Thanks, it really does help. Feels like I can only watch as everyone else around me succeeds at everything and enjoys life; makes me feel so inhuman.

    Only relatives are my sister who can barely muster the money for her small apartment and an uncle who just lives by himself and doesn't really keep in touch with the family often.

    Nothing useful would come of therapy, parents wouldn't even agree to see a marriage counselor for their loveless marriage.

    Considered dorming, but have a lot of problems with my Asperger's syndrome that could make it extremely difficult with a roommate.

    Would like to get my own place, but it's not just being where I am now that keeps me feeling trapped. So many problems with my disabilities that I don't know if it's even possible to be on my own. Even driving can be a problem... I hate myself for relying on others so much.

    Thanks guys, I feel a little better. Will be years before I see any progress whatsoever in my life though, assuming things ever can get better. Wish I could at least succeed at college, but have no passion with the depression and issues with focus, memory, and learning. It's as though I was programmed to fail...
     
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    maybe check into living with the uncle?

    could say yes, I suppose
     
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