Trapped

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Deleted SKU, Jun 17, 2011.

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  1. Deleted SKU

    Deleted SKU Well-Known Member

    To be within a standing stone, unyielding to the test of time
    Remind me when it once was thus, a chapter which is underlined
    A life, a story there engraved, illustrating what once was
    Push the knife in deeper still, driven by egregious lust
    Pray for me, to those inclined, watch the shards get chipped away
    Every cut goes deeper still, echoes of another day
    Deep within the standing stone, waiting now to be set free
     
  2. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Damn, was that headstone for a minute.
    Loved that, brilliant.
    Thanks
     
  3. Deleted SKU

    Deleted SKU Well-Known Member

    It's odd, i wasn't thinking of anything of the sort when writing it, one of those where i was just writing stuff from the top of my head, but would probably read better if it was as i kind of lost the thought half way through.

    Still not quite there though.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is an excellent write wow again what a talent you have hugs
     
  5. Deleted SKU

    Deleted SKU Well-Known Member

    Not really. Writing feels like... trying to run through one of those inflatable obstacle courses, for the want of a coherent analogy. I know where i'm starting, i know where i want to go, but trying to get there feels like i'm fighting everything. Every time i look at what i write it doesn't really turn out how i want or say what i want to say, and to be honest usually just disappoints me that i can't write the way i want to.
     
  6. The Unforgiven

    The Unforgiven Well-Known Member

    its beautiful regardless..
     
  7. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Thats one of the things i love about poetry Rathis, its how the reader interprets it, can be many ways...................... i loved it though.
     
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