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Trauma caused me to hurt others

#1
someone hurt me and then I hurt someone else...not in the same way....no physically but nonetheless hurt. imcannot stop thinking about It...unless I take a benzo...so as I have said a million times here, unless an equivalent drug is found for me, I will just pray not to wake up...that’s the only solution as suicide is really not an option...it will destroy my family.,..even though I would be gone, I cannot do that to them....they would be destroyed.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#2
someone hurt me and then I hurt someone else...not in the same way....no physically but nonetheless hurt. imcannot stop thinking about It...unless I take a benzo...so as I have said a million times here, unless an equivalent drug is found for me, I will just pray not to wake up...that’s the only solution as suicide is really not an option...it will destroy my family.,..even though I would be gone, I cannot do that to them....they would be destroyed.
*console*sadhug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#4
yes you do keep singing the same song and you will until you change the lyrics. try to get help for your past trauma. i know you don't want to reveal your trauma here in the forums. if you want you can use my inbox, what is said there is private and it stays that way. the offer is there. i hope you can find a way to move forward. i also sing the same old song about my pain but it helps to get some comfort....mike...*hug*shake
 

toomuchreality

Well-Known Member
#5
Hi @Hatingmyselfdaily, I don't know you well but I can understand a little. I was hurt badly by many people, and then it was hard not to hurt them back. I'm sorry you are struggling with the same issues. I'm no expert at all, it took me years to find out though, that benzo's can actually make you feel more depressed. I need them too, since I've been using them regularly for years, without them I'd be really anxious without sleep. Do you want to try antidepressants or are you? I hope you forgive yourself, you did the best you could at the time this happened. I have to learn to forgive myself as well. best wishes to you!
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#6
Hi @Hatingmyselfdaily, I don't know you well but I can understand a little. I was hurt badly by many people, and then it was hard not to hurt them back. I'm sorry you are struggling with the same issues. I'm no expert at all, it took me years to find out though, that benzo's can actually make you feel more depressed. I need them too, since I've been using them regularly for years, without them I'd be really anxious without sleep. Do you want to try antidepressants or are you? I hope you forgive yourself, you did the best you could at the time this happened. I have to learn to forgive myself as well. best wishes to you!
*hug*shake
 
#7
Hi @Hatingmyselfdaily, I don't know you well but I can understand a little. I was hurt badly by many people, and then it was hard not to hurt them back. I'm sorry you are struggling with the same issues. I'm no expert at all, it took me years to find out though, that benzo's can actually make you feel more depressed. I need them too, since I've been using them regularly for years, without them I'd be really anxious without sleep. Do you want to try antidepressants or are you? I hope you forgive yourself, you did the best you could at the time this happened. I have to learn to forgive myself as well. best wishes to you!
Anti depressants make me worse. The worst part is that the person I hurt had nothing to do with my trauma. I took advantage of his trust. He has forgiven me but I cannot forgive myself. It is torture....
 
#8
yes you do keep singing the same song and you will until you change the lyrics. try to get help for your past trauma. i know you don't want to reveal your trauma here in the forums. if you want you can use my inbox, what is said there is private and it stays that way. the offer is there. i hope you can find a way to move forward. i also sing the same old song about my pain but it helps to get some comfort....mike...*hug*shake
Sorry...I am just so frustrated....I have done all I can to get help. I know there is no magic pill but there has to be something that will stop the chatter in my head so that therapy would be more successful. I cannot get ahead of this...
 

toomuchreality

Well-Known Member
#9
Well I'm not sure, we aren't supposed to suggest or promote medication, but i'm going to suggest/ask if you've tried something like quetiapine or it's also called seroquel. I'm not a med promoter, I actually wish I could go back and manage life without any medication. But that is one med that will help you sleep, and quiets the mind somewhat, only my experience that I can relate to you.
You must forgive yourself. Whatever it is cant be changed, it is in the past. You have to let it go for your own sanity, for yourself to be able to live in peace. Look at humanities history, the cruelty, tortures etc. and horrible people we know of now and major crimes being committed daily..... do you think you deserve that much punishment for a mistake in the past as these other humans do? I don't think you do. You need to be kind to yourself now. I don't know if we can recommend people that teach, but I'll take my chances. Eckhart Tolle is on youtube. You could type in Eckhart Tolle "the end of suffering." He has helped me, it may not be something you like but try his videos and see what might happen. best to you always
 
#10
Well I'm not sure, we aren't supposed to suggest or promote medication, but i'm going to suggest/ask if you've tried something like quetiapine or it's also called seroquel. I'm not a med promoter, I actually wish I could go back and manage life without any medication. But that is one med that will help you sleep, and quiets the mind somewhat, only my experience that I can relate to you.
You must forgive yourself. Whatever it is cant be changed, it is in the past. You have to let it go for your own sanity, for yourself to be able to live in peace. Look at humanities history, the cruelty, tortures etc. and horrible people we know of now and major crimes being committed daily..... do you think you deserve that much punishment for a mistake in the past as these other humans do? I don't think you do. You need to be kind to yourself now. I don't know if we can recommend people that teach, but I'll take my chances. Eckhart Tolle is on youtube. You could type in Eckhart Tolle "the end of suffering." He has helped me, it may not be something you like but try his videos and see what might happen. best to you always
I am actually starting a low dose of seroquel. Maybe this will be the answer...who knows. What I really need is a time machine...need to go back even just 4 years....but since that cant happen I need to find a better way stay here.
 

toomuchreality

Well-Known Member
#11
Yeah if I could find a time machine I'd change about the last 5 years of my life. I hope the low dose seroquel helps you. Rest is so important. I will be wishing that things look up for you soon!
 

Butterfly

Sim Addict
Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Author
SF Supporter
#12
Meds are not the magic cure and in your case I don't think they will help much in the long term. You need to focus on therapy for your trauma and make life changes in order to start recovering.
 

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