Traumatic flashbacks afterwards

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by aussiegal, Mar 23, 2012.

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  1. aussiegal

    aussiegal Well-Known Member

    Just wondering if anyone has had continual flashbacks and thoughts of their suicide attempts months after the event. Even on days where I do not want to die, I still continuously think about my first attempt. I find I have mixed feelings between regretting my actions, craving help, wishing it had of been successful. Finding now that these are becoming quite intrusive thoughts. Wondering if its common or unusual.
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    While each individual is going to be unique in their experience with this situation, I can only tell you what happened to me, and guess about the rest. I believe that all of the things you've just said are quite perfectly normal and/or natural. In my case, even though it has been a few years, I still reflect back on it, and wonder why it didn't work, what my life would've been like had it gone through (erase all mistakes made since then), and so on and so. But I would say for the first half-year to a year or so, it was as you said, quite intrusive. For me, it wasn't a matter of being upset or ashamed that it was not completed, it was more a great resistor to future attempts. In other words, it's bothered me so much that I have not been able to bring my self to try again since then, even though I've been just as depressed, if not more so on plenty of occasions. But there is hope moving forward, and we're all quite lucky really, when you truly consider it, we got a second crack at it--Life. Another chance to get things right. And not every body is so fortunate to have this incredible opportunity.
  3. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    The first few weeks after my attempt I felt like I was getting a second chance, and then it was like reality hit...suddenly I felt embarrassed and alienated from my family and friends. I began having flashback every time I tried to have a shower (whilst being hospitalized I was assaulted whilst coming out of the bathroom) and now have trouble being in bathrooms and any confined space. I felt like people understood me less and like nobody took me seriously or understood my "cries for help". Ive been a lot more private about my depression and frequently lie about how Im doing just to keep them happy. I feel so guilty about my attempt I wish I had succeeded...thinking about it just nauseates me to no end...
  4. Kaspazzy

    Kaspazzy Active Member

    I've had many suicide attempts. Over the years (11 and a half) I've been remembering the times where I have tried to. One, especially. I wish at times I didn't, I wish my memories could be wiped out and I would have a odd yet normal filler for them. The bother me a lot, they make me feel embarrassed, knowing how stupid I was. I rarely ever planned, just went straight forward and always failed - honestly, I'm glad I did but if I could go back. I wouldn't ever try doing it, at all.
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