So I have a quick story: My girlfriend and I love each other a lot. We were basically living together for 6 months during college until the summer came around. I failed out and her parents weren't going to pay for her to go back, so we were stranded. By that time, we both formed some bad habits (drinking, smoking, other stuff, etc.) so when we got split up, we both fell deep into that stuff. We both pretty much stopped talking to each other for 7 months because of our drug habits. I ended up getting help (rehab, etc.) and I've been clean since October. She took a little longer, but she's doing much better now too. In February we finally got back together, sober and serious. Here's where the problem came: cheating. We cheated on each other. a lot. A LOT. Not just with one person either, we both slept around with 4-5 other people while we were apart. I can't handle it. I feel like I'm going crazy over this. Anytime I think about any of those guys with her, I want to kill everyone, and then kill myself. Some days I'm okay, but most of the time I want to die. What can I do to move on from the pain? I feel so dead.