travel or die?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by diseased, Apr 26, 2008.

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  1. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    I was thinking that since I don't have friends in this city anymore that it would be easier to move somewhere else and make new friends. I like it better when I can walk down the street and no one knows me or even thinks they know me.

    A lot of my old friends know that I tried to kill myself because the one person I told blabbed to them after she promised not to tell. Now they all think I'm crazy. Rightfully so. I just want to go somewhere where people don't know that...yet.

    So...I was thinking either move when I get my tax refund or buy a gun and blow my brains out because other methods have been ineffective.

    I don't really want to die. I just don't want to live like this. I need some kind of way out. I like the moving idea better because even if it doesn't end up working out there are still a lot of things I'd like to see.

    I was thinking Oregon seems nicer than a grisly self murder.

    Haven't decided yet though...
  2. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I thought of moving to Oregon myself. I say travel. It's better to do something that keeps you on the edge of discovery, not self-destruction.
  3. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    Moving won't suddenly solve your problems, but it can be a catalyst for shaping a new life for yourself. At the same time, if you don't change your habits, a similar scenario as before will hit you head on.
  4. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    My habits are under control. It's all the fucking crackeheads around here that are the problem.

    I swear to god I will blow my fucking head off if I'm not able to get out of here.
  5. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    Everything around me is triggering me. I seriously will not survive here very much longer.

    I know if I find my dad's gun I will use it while I have the opportunity.
  6. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Sometimes Im thinking to sit in my car and start driving and never stop. I wanna drive till the end of my life, and I hope I will not pass to much miles.
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hey diseased,
    i think moving is a great idea. i've moved lots in my life - canada to new york city to ireland and soon i'm heading back to canada. it can be stressful, and it can be lonely but it can also be incredibly freeing. you can reinvent yourself and start fresh. when will your tax refund arrive?
  8. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Go for the move - you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Good luck!
  9. Aleth

    Aleth Well-Known Member

    Its a gamble. Moving can be quite emotionally exhausting, and if you are already feeling suicidal might just unbalance you even more.
    It might give you some positive momentum for change, or you could just collapse under the stress of change.

    Any knockbacks and difficulties will probably throw you into a deeper state of depression. But then again, positive experiences will lift you. Its impossible to know how it would play out.

    I did the moving thing sometime before I collapsed into a suicidal depression. Although I knew that I was approaching that anyway (from previous experience) as things were, so decided to take the plunge and make a change in life. Even though it didn't really work out, I'm glad I did it. At least I can say I tried, and in the short term it gave me a boost.

    But you will need to judge for yourself if you can handle this sort of change at the moment.
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