trawling beneath

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by earljames, Oct 30, 2013.

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  1. earljames

    earljames Member

    I feel buried in depression here. Saw the doc yesterday hes going to add some med to the mirtazipine.california rocket fuel is the nickname apparently. Staying clean, but its misery..if I use to escape this then I will be in worse misery.I guess I am f$%#ed. I am almost going back to london I cannot stand my family like this,but will I end up offing myself alone there after using? Feel trapped I guess. It probably isn't as bad as I think it is..what do they call it a cognitive distortion? Yeah and the rest.doing meetings..gym..still want a get out..I want out..I want some smack
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Please hold on ok i know it gets tough but you are a fighter and you can stay clean Stay where you are safe ok
     
  3. earljames

    earljames Member

    I will..cant go back.I am not religious but I had to pray for some help with the pain.cried my eyes out but feel a little better.thankyou for answering me.I will hold on a day at a time.
     
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