Tried and failed :-(

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by whybother?, Nov 22, 2008.

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  1. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    well today couldnt of started of anyworse, i hadnt had sleep for 2 days straight and the 1st time i actually fell asleep i got a fone call from sum **** from my bank telling me im in debt, well done sherlock! telling me if i dont put any money in the account by monday then theres gonna be a final demand, then court, THEN my ex landlord rang me up demanding i pay him over a grand (long story) and if i dont pay that hes gonna bring it to the courts

    SO after that fone call i found the sharpest razor blade i cud find and tried to kill myself, i have so many deep cuts on my wrists and arms, yet i didnt bleed to death..WHY :mad: i was bleeding for about 10 mins, was feeling very sick and nearly passed out, fuck it im gonna try again 2morrow, in my previous thread i said if 1 more thing bad happened then i will kill myself, and 2 shit things happened to me in 1 day, its WAY to much for me, all i want to do is cry all day and nite,

    ive asked my parents for support with the bank, they told me to ''go fuck yourself''

    just a hug rite now wud make me feel sumwat a lil better, but thats just to much to ask for

    i want to talk to the only friend i have on msn but it wud DEEEEEPLY upset her and shes going through enough as it is, i dont wanna bring her down with me

    why do happy ppl who havnt got a worry in the world die in sum freak accident but wen it comes to me i just cant die! why cant i be ina accident, why cant sum1 murder me, why the fuck cant i even bleed to death!!!!!

    sorry this is 1 big rant, i wont be annoying u lot for much longer, any of u have my email address or fone number u can say ur goodbyes. not like i have any friends anyway

    WHY CANT I DIE!!!!!!!
  2. Hazibell

    Hazibell Well-Known Member

    im pretty annoyed that noone else has replied tbh.
    dont do it. :(
  3. Rockster

    Rockster Guest

    I'm amased i missed it, Whybother? it isn't always the best answer and there are alternative routes, i hope that you are able to find them
  4. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    and why shouldnt i do it? so i can see the girl i love find sum1 else? to get into ALOT of trouble with the courts? to carry on cutting myself? to live ina house where ppl hate me? ooh yea thats a fantastic reason why i shud stay!! there is no upside to my life where i can balance out the good things and the bad things, its ALLLLLL bad.

    i was going to kill myself today but ive come up with an idea so i will do it 2morrow. dont bother trying to convince me u'll just be wasting ur time

    not like many ppl actually give a fuck, it took hazibell to get 1 person to reply to this thread,

    my name says it all.... why bother?
  5. Rockster

    Rockster Guest

    ive had to do the same, i lost the person iloved and i have had to live in a house where i was hated in 13 years it is worth it trust me u will find someone
  6. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    how on earth can it get better? i need to pay the bank 2morrow or else there gonna send a court order against me, so unless i can do amazing magic tricks that summon money out of thin air, im fucked! dw my suffering will stop 2morrow! like ive said any1 who wants to say bye just go ahead, if no1 talks to me then it'll just show fuck all ppl actually cared bout me
  7. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    So, despite reporting me for giving you advice, you're still claiming you're going ahead with it?
  8. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    Eh... why cut over it? Instead, why not try to get the money? :sad:

    It'll solve your problem.
  9. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    its sunday at 4:17pm, they expect the money by 2morrow morning , no chance on earth. but like uve all said its so worth stayin around. i really want to goto court and proberly end up in jail for all this. yup very certain i will do it 2morrow :mad:
  10. alle_vite

    alle_vite Well-Known Member

    You know there is help out there even with financial problems you could try a debt solution company i dont think suicide is the only option here, you cant bury your head in the sand you really need to just speak to the right person about sorting this problem out!!

    Stay Strong

  11. Hazibell

    Hazibell Well-Known Member

    i know you wont listen to me.
    but dont do it.
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi whybother.

    Im sorry your parents weren't nice to you, maybe they think that you need to face up to your own responsibilities. Have you any relatives you could ask for the money?

    Please dont do it, you have come a long way in the past few months :hug:
  13. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    the thing is the money isnt my main problem, everything else has gone shit :-( and hazibell its not u im not listening to its every1. and no daisy none of my family members will give me any money, no friends aswell

    my family hate me
    the girl i love doesnt love me back
    i have no money, even if i do get a job i cant touch the money i earn
    i rely on cutting and only cutting to get through a day
    i have no1 in person i can goto
    i have no1 i can even get a hug from :(
    i have no social life
    no love life

    im sorry to any1 who knows me for knowing me
  14. starry01

    starry01 Member

    Hi Whybother,

    I'm sure there are ways around this mate. If you explain to the courts that you simply don't have the money they should accept a small payment of what you can afford each month. I've heard this done before.

    Are you in the UK? If you have you been to the CAB? They give excellent advice to people in debt and will even bargain with your creditors for you. If your landlord is demanding payment they will certainly be able to advise you on that. Even if you can't get to the CAB there are other debt companies that will give free advice - have you tried googling some?

    Pleaes don't kill yourself - you have options. I'm not saying things aren't bad right now as I understand you feel bloody awful and I know how it is to feel trapped. But there are ways out of this that don't result in your death. People do care about you. Please let us know you're all right.
  15. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    just do me 1 favour, dont forget me :sad:
  16. starry01

    starry01 Member

    I just read your latest email. Yeah I get you feel lonely and isolated. It's a horrible feeling I know. Can you see ways around this? I know you're hurting about your ex but you will move on from it - the pain won't last forever. You could start socialising - it does take a lot of effort when you're depressed but if you can start by forcing yourself you might find you feel better. I'm not making light of how you feel I promise - I know how crap it is - but sometimes we have to get out there and grab life to make something out of it. I hear that you're hurting a lot and I don't know what else to say but I don' want you to kill yourself - please :sad:
  17. Hazibell

    Hazibell Well-Known Member

    dont talk like that.
  18. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    ive been doin alot of thinking and ive decided i am still gonna do it, yup its gonna upset the few ppl who care about me. but for the 1st time in my life im going to be selfish. why shud i live for them? why shud i have to suffer shit day in day out just to make them happy?

    there isnt a way around this bank said ''gimme money by monday'' i said ''dont have any!'' they said ''we'll send out final demand,then its to the courts''

    my ex landlord says ''u owe over a grand to us'' i said ''try and get the money from me, i blocked u from takin money out of my account'' landlord says ''fine we'll settle it in court''

    my mother said to my sister ''dont feed nigel or give him anything, i dont really want him living here''
    my dad isnt talking to me
    jobs around this area are fucking shocking to find
    cant go on job seekers allowance becuz soon as the money goes into my account it gets swallowed up, even if i didnt have debts i cant even access my account cuz theyve unauthorized my card. ive been on the fone to the bank asking if theres anyway they cud help me, loans, managed loans, the short answer was ''fuck off''

    the girl im still madly in love with has openly said she doesnt want a relationship with me

    i wake up crying every morning and cut my arms so i stop crying :(

    i have ZERO income so i cant even buy my own food,cigs,drink or anything

    So all i have to look forward to is debt, being heart broken, being hated, cutting and crying

    sorry ppl but ur wasting ur time with me, seriously im not worth the time u spend typing ur responces on this thread tbh.

    there isnt much to remember me by, but for those of u that knew me, just remember me as sum1 who had an insane obsession with metallica. and i always put my friends and ex g/fs first in my life

    i have it all planned out wat im going to do. i wont go into any detail wat it is.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 23, 2008
  19. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    Just remember when you are dead, thats it... no coming back!! just because you feel bad and are in a state now.. dont mean it will always b this way. if one thing is for sure. its that everything changes after a time!

    i really hope you reconsider, there are obviously people who care about you on here

  20. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    tbh that sounds great, not coming back, not having to live another day in this hell im living. killing myself sounds like fucking paradise tbh
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