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tried everything. literally.

#1
Hey. So I survived <mod edit - method> and got sent to a psych ward. got out. got sent back in. went to EMDR trauma therapy. none of it worked. nobody wants to give me ECT and I just called and cancelled my future appointment with my therapist. I'm done trying. I've been on this site for a while but idk. I want to die. I try to die. but they keep reviving me and it fucking sucks. I don't even know what I want anymore. I don't want to recover. I don't want to heal. I just want to just die. and yeah. I don't even know why im making this post because I know one asshat is gonna come on and start gaslighting me. if anyone knows how to get ECT though. do comment.
 
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Walker

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#2
Hi there, I'm sorry you're feeling so crap. I can tell by the tone of your message that you're feeling really really bad. What is it about ECT that makes you feel strongly about it's probability of working for you?
 
#3
Hi there, I'm sorry you're feeling so crap. I can tell by the tone of your message that you're feeling really really bad. What is it about ECT that makes you feel strongly about it's probability of working for you?
Its main side effect is memory loss. from what I heard from everyone whos had it it usually erases 4 years of memory and helps tremendously with depression. Most of my trauma happened in the last 4-6 years. if I can get a clean slate. I'll be able to manage living. If I can't. I've exhausted everything and there's no help for me. I've' done everything. I've played their games BY the book. did the dog and pony show. did EMDR did go into a psych ward 3 times. nothings worked. and my therapist was like "Well they probably wont let you do it for that reason" so Im like fuck it. I'll email the hospital. see if I can get an eval. dump all 15 years of psych meds and therapy on their table and tell them I've done everything. meds don't work. therapy doesnt' work. If I don't get this they may as well be burying me alive.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#4
I feel the same especially the gaslighting. People are prevented, given platitudes and then abandoned til the next attempt.
 

Champagne

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#5
May I ask which medications have you tried? ECT is somewhat a last resort treatment at the moment.

I have had quite a horrible past and too sought out ECT, they refused me but after they told me it could erase my happy memories, I'm glad I didn't go for it, instead I went to counselling, sought community supports and haven't looked back. Don't get me wrong I still have high anxiety and PTSD but its more controlled now and I'm happy I did not get ECT. Its becoming less and less common these days as there are new psych meds coming out all the time. I wish you the best though and it sucks so bad that you are hurting so badly, you say you don't want to get better, if you want ECT then I believe you do want to get better so just keep your head above the water ok? and see what happens down the line.
 
#6
Sorry that you're going through this and that the treatment methods that you've tried so far haven't worked.

The links in my signature have some information about treatment methods. There may be a few things there that you haven't tried yet.

I think you've mentioned that you have a rare medical condition for which there is no known cure or effective treatment. You may want to try out acupuncture and traditional Chinese herbal medicine, and ask the practitioner what kind of results you could expect from treatment.

Posts 33 to 36 on this thread have some more information about acupuncture
https://www.suicideforum.com/commun...pidemic’-war-kills.166237/page-2#post-2093271

Imho, if there are no conventional treatments left, and you've tried any reasonable alternative treatments already, you might want to see if the NIH has any experimenal drug trials that you could participate in. Drug trials might be on hold though for now.
 
#7
Sorry that you're going through this and that the treatment methods that you've tried so far haven't worked.

The links in my signature have some information about treatment methods. There may be a few things there that you haven't tried yet.

I think you've mentioned that you have a rare medical condition for which there is no known cure or effective treatment. You may want to try out acupuncture and traditional Chinese herbal medicine, and ask the practitioner what kind of results you could expect from treatment.

Posts 33 to 36 on this thread have some more information about acupuncture
https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/how-the-‘opioid-epidemic’-war-kills.166237/page-2#post-2093271

Imho, if there are no conventional treatments left, and you've tried any reasonable alternative treatments already, you might want to see if the NIH has any experimenal drug trials that you could participate in. Drug trials might be on hold though for now.
yeah I have no idea anymore. just had my last appointment with my therapist. and quite frankly Im just done with help. they denied me ECT. so. Guess the road to recovery is over
 
#9
Its main side effect is memory loss. from what I heard from everyone whos had it it usually erases 4 years of memory and helps tremendously with depression. Most of my trauma happened in the last 4-6 years. if I can get a clean slate. I'll be able to manage living. If I can't. I've exhausted everything and there's no help for me. I've' done everything. I've played their games BY the book. did the dog and pony show. did EMDR did go into a psych ward 3 times. nothings worked. and my therapist was like "Well they probably wont let you do it for that reason" so Im like fuck it. I'll email the hospital. see if I can get an eval. dump all 15 years of psych meds and therapy on their table and tell them I've done everything. meds don't work. therapy doesnt' work. If I don't get this they may as well be burying me alive.
Hi there....not that I can be of any real help to you, however please know that you are not alone. The majority of my trauma also occurred with the last 4 years, so if ect could erase it, I would be right in line attempting to get it but I know it is not that easy, I have also tried it all....therapy, meds, etc....I want out also and if not for my family and real fear of hell, I would be long gone. Stay strong....
 

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