I first came here 6 months ago, extremely depressed, highly emotional and like many who can't see any way out, began seriously considering suicide. Everyone said that I'd had no history of problems, no history of suicidal thoughts - I'd just been through a divorce, lost my family, lost my job, moved to a city where I know no one. Rough but everyone said I needed time. I've done everything an intelligent person is supposed to. I found a highly qualified and credentialed therapist and began weekly counseling sessions (she says I'm passively suicidal - means I wish I would drop dead every day, but don't have the nerve to put a bullet in myself), I spoke with my doctor and was prescribed meds. I'm trying to exercise. I go to work and put on a smiling face for the world every day. Well it's been over half a year and it looks like I'm not getting better. My state of mind is much more resigned, less hysterical and emotional now than it once was. The thing is, I'm becoming seriously convinced that this passive suicidal wish is just prolonging what's looking more and more inevitable - the change to becoming actively suicidal. Not really looking for help here. No one can help me. Just venting my thoughts into the void.