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Tried, failed. But I'm glad.

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by pogosticker, Nov 29, 2011.

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  1. pogosticker

    pogosticker Well-Known Member

    I OD'd. I thought the hardest part of it would be forcing myself to swallow them - but I had enough willpower to do that. The hard part was forcing myself to wait for it to happen, so I ended up calling myself an ambulance.

    It was an awful, humiliating experience. I upset quite a few people as well, and I hate what I did to them. I also disappointed a few. I don't intend to do anything like it again. The whole thing was incredibly embarrassing, and of course I regret it, but the experience turned out to be a good one, based on the outcome and the things it made me realise. I have a lot more hope now.

    I hope others who suffer suicidal thoughts try to listen to the incredibly quiet voice in the back of their mind telling them NOT to do it. I wasn't being rational, despite how rational the thoughts seemed at the time.

    Hope you guys stay safe.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you called for help hun hugs toyou
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    So glad you failed as well...and what a painful but priceless lesson to have learned...thanks so much for sharing
  4. pogosticker

    pogosticker Well-Known Member

    Thank you both. :)

    It was an awful experience, and of course I regret it, but it was a big eye-opener and in a way I'm glad it happened (or didn't.)

    Definitely learned my lesson. Felt awful, physically and emotionally but it did have a good outcome.
  5. Lost_Daughter

    Lost_Daughter Well-Known Member

    So glad that your ok hun:) I'm happy that it gave you hope and you realize that you have the gift of a second chance. Even if you find yourself feeling down again, reflect on your experience and keep fighting.:hug:
  6. pogosticker

    pogosticker Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Lost_Daughter! :hug:

    I hope I'm able to look back on this experience and stop myself, should I ever get to that point again.

    But things are a lot brighter right now. :)
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