I have only posted a couple of time so here is some background...... Famale, 44, married for 28 years ( yes I was 16 what the hell was my mother thinking letting a CHILD get married?), 3 children, 3 grandchildren, battled depression for as long as I can remember. A few months back I made a serious effort to die. According to the doctor I was a hair away from being placed in a ventilator. When I first woke up I was pissed because I had failed. (I thought that I had planned it to where I would NOT be found and "saved"). Somehow, I convinced the doctor that my method was an accident to avoid being admitted to a mental health hospital. Either I am a hell of an actress, the doctor was stupid, or he just didn't want to fool with me. Fast forward a few months, I am getting in a bad way again and don't know what to do. I think that I am finally beginning to key into a few things that trigger. The first is my husband. People tell me that I should leave, and my heart and head tell me that I should as well, I just don't know how. He is not physically abusive but he is emtionally and mentally abusive. He stresses me to no end and I cannot handle stress. Stress sends me into a suicidal, depressed stage. HELP!!! How can I cut the strings and begin to live? I have never had to live on my own. Please do not trivialize this because it is a very REAL situation.