I'm sorry I said on here that I needed to take a break from here as couldn't face dealing with my own emotions and was worried I wouldn't help someone. I thought by trying to distance myself from thinking about how I truely felt that I would feel better and be able to help other people more but I'm even more scared. I can never seem to get away from the constant feelings of worry and guilt. All I can think of is stuff that has happend and of ways that would hopefully succeed in ending everything. I have a drs app on tuesday maybe I could ask for some stronger meds then to have a load of. I know deep down what I should be doing to help but I just can't do it. All I can think of when I close my eyes is what that disgusting man started to try to do in the taxi and what I want to do to myself - I wish there was a local cliff, I would drink whatever I needed to make sure I did it. I have tried to run away from these thoughts and feelings but you can never get away - they are always there waiting for you and just end up hitting you even harder :cry: when will this all end???