TRIGGER-letting out some pain.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by consciousinsane, Dec 15, 2006.

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  1. consciousinsane

    consciousinsane Well-Known Member

    why do i cut?
    why can't i stop?
    why do i like it?
    why do i crave it?
    it's a love hate relationship.
    why does it dull so quickly?
    why does it need to be deeper?
    why can't it just be over?
    why why why ?????

    just letting some frustrations out. i know the answers, but I don't like them. I have even pressed the easy button to see if it would fix things. I get mad, angry, depressed, crave, or whatever reason I need to cut. Then I go to actually do it and I feel like I need to press down harder. I continue, but I've cut so much it's become dull and just scapes the skin. That does nothing but piss me off and make me want to cut even deeper. I don't usually cut all that deep. My thing is to watch the blood run, not the depth, or the pain. Oh, I don't know what I'm even talking about. I feel so stupid talking like this. I used to keep everything bottled up inside and would not tell a single soul (not even God) about my sorrows. I'm so sad and worthless feeling right now. No reason, just because. I'm going to take the depression test. I bet it's a 92.
  2. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    hi conciuseinsane remember me? i think everytime i read your posts, that we are very simmilar, because i know how to stop cutting(or i think i know) but i don´t want it, it feels so damn good. This may sound crazy, but have you think about that we are vampires and we don´t know( i like how blood taste)lol it was a little jocke but think about it....inside all my insane toughts it souds logical ...or not?
  3. RockRchick13

    RockRchick13 Member

    I feel the same way. I cut too and a little used to be enough to cure me temporarily but now I feel I have to go deeper still and that scares me. It still hurts but it's what keeps me from overdosing on pills or some other way of killing myself. I don't know. I just wanted to say that you're not alone in feeling this way and you're not stupid for sharing your feelings.

    ~*~ Crystal ~*~
  4. consciousinsane

    consciousinsane Well-Known Member

    I like to see blood. I like the dark. I like caves. I have always liked vampire movies (except the cheap & stupid ones).

    Maybe we are part vampire. I want to bite your neck!! (evil laugh) hahahaha
  5. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    it is good to let all your anger out. i like seeing blood also and it makes it all seem so real.
  6. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    mmm if you bite my neck you´ll find another jane doe ;)
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