I just put my best friend to sleep not even 12 hours has passed. She was the sole reason I still existed. I am feeling so awful it was not me too. She was in too much pain that I could not justify keeping her in this world any longer. She was happy but so uncomfortable. Been trying to go through with the day keeping myself busy but sleeping wasn't possible when thinking of her not breathing or being warm next to me anymore. That void. That snore. Just seeing myself shutting down and getting away from people already and take down that fence in my mind that has built in to keep things running smoothly and voices at bay. Now have no reason in the world to care. Have nothing to lose.