Trigger Me

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Miss Invisible, Feb 16, 2015.

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  1. Miss Invisible

    Miss Invisible Well-Known Member

    Completely overwhelmed by emotion right now. After reading a board a memory finally makes sense..:'/so thankful I read it. Thanks to this forum I'm actually letting myself think..feel. And While this revelation is painful, and I can't seem to stop crying reliving it. I realize maybe there's hope..maybe as damaged as I am it won't last forever. Maybe.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    well the pain won't be as intense with professional help you can get coping methods to deal with the overwhelming emotions one feels
     
  3. smwhorses

    smwhorses Well-Known Member

    So glad you found the site. I am sure things will get better for you. We all will listen if you want to talk.
     
  4. Miss Invisible

    Miss Invisible Well-Known Member

    I feel like a complete mess right now. I've been trying to hide my trauma, not to face it for years but now I have no choice. What happened to me is me until I get it out of me.
    I tried so hard to forget I was drugged and raped at a party then raped within days by my abusive boyfriend who needed me to know, I was only his & the rape was my fault. So I tucked away all of that, feelings, pain, everything. The only thing is my body didn't cooperate. Anxiety attacks, depression, fear, anger even consume me. I recently had to withdraw from my graduate studies program because my psych class project was on rape and I began having intense flashbacks.
    When I was reading a board today, it really hit me today that my severe panic attack I experienced during a biopsy of my cervix a year or so after the assualts could be related to my internal fear. I always thought there was something wrong with me because I can no longer have a male doctor do an internal exam & i still panic at unplanned exams. I now see why that happened.
     
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