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*TRIGGER* My thread

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by The_8th_Wonder, Jan 4, 2009.

  1. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    I'm sorry that you are all better than me. You can talk about what's on your mind but when I talk about what's on mine my threads get locked because I can't control the fucked up thing between my ears. You get support, I get locked. Guess what happens when people can't talk about their problems, they act upon on them. It's getting worse and worse and I'm coming closer and closer to doing it. I have nobody who will even give me a second look in my life and this forum is the only thing I have.

    I add warnings for things that could possibly be triggering for a reason - DON'T READ THE THREAD IF YOU THINK IT MIGHT TRIGGER YOU. That topic wasn't a trick at all, you should have realized that my topic would not be recalling my past experiences of being abused. If the topic wasn't enough of an obvious hint, you can have read the first line and figured out what the rest of the thread was going to be like. Is it really all that hard to ignore the topic and not let your curiosity get the best of you?

    There are topics on this forum all the time that trigger me that would not trigger most people but I just ignore them and if I happen to come across somebody who needs help about one I DON'T try and get the thread locked.

    I'm shocked that people actually wonder why a person would abuse another person. Clearly they are in need of help and if they ask for it they get called a sick mental fucker and ignored. I'm sorry my mind is so fucked up but I can't control it. People never understood it in the past and they never will.

    Thank you for the few of you that replied trying to help me with any piece of advice no matter how big or small you gave.

    Now after reading this most or my other thread most of you probably don't give a shit if I do kill myself, right?

    Do whatever the hell you want to to this thread and my account, I'm done with this shit.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi the_8th_wonder

    What has triggered all this day?

    We would care if you died. You're a lovely,kind and caring person.

    I'm here if you need to talk :hug:
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I agree that the moderators are biased when it comes to locking threads. My threads usually get locked and then deleted, so I don't even bother starting threads anymore.
  4. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Hey 8th,

    I've said it before. It doesn't matter what you think, it matters what you do. :hug: Really mate, I mean it. No judgment from me.

    I'd be sad if you died.

  5. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I'm on moderation for the same reason.
  6. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Here's the problem hun. Some of the people on this site have been raped as I'm sure you're well aware of. I for one am a victim of it. While I congratulate you for talking about it rather then acting upon it I also understand the other side of the spectrum.

    I'm sorry you feel like your voice and your thoughts can't be heard. I'm sure they can be but sometimes wording things a different way might help.

    Be safe.

  7. Locket

    Locket Well-Known Member

    as said above, wording things differently, even if they have the same content, can help a lot if you don't want to be moderated and have your threads locked. it would also encourage others to be more supportive and suggest things. and also, if you find other threads triggering, you can ask for moderation as well. everyone has equal rights here, even if at times it doesn't seem that way.
    i think it was made clear that most thought you should seek advice and professional help for these thoughts of yours. noone thought you should die, i'm sure. and people would miss you if you did! :hug:

    good luck with everything hun :heart:
    laura x
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter


    I hope you are feeling better now :hug:
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I am also a victim of rape and I think what the OP said in his earlier thread was very brave. Thanks for speaking out and seeking help.

    Rape is a touchy subject on SF. If you want someone to talk about your feelings to, you can PM me :hug:
  10. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    it has no relevance to this thread clearly and it's an inside joke...therefore being inside I don't have to decipher it for you. If you were invited into a skype convo you'd get it.

    Back to the original poster since you have a knack for turning threads not about me into me. Oh by the way please stop fuckin' doing that too. It's irritating to say the least.

    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2009
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Temper, temper Kelly... You shouldn't let people irritate you so easily.
  12. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Dave, maybe you would be off moderation and off fao if you left people alone like you were told. :smile: Just a thought dear.
  13. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    You act as if I can't see the other side of the spectrum. The truth is that I can. I don't know anybody personally who has been raped (mainly because I'm only close to my family) but I read posts about it on this forum. I see what it does to people. I know that some people are here for no other reason other than being abused which makes me quite sad and upset with the people who would do such a thing as well as myself for thinking that I would. I can't imagine dealing with the flashbacks and the pain of thinking about it all the time - I couldn't live with myself if something of such nature happened to me.

    The problem is that I have a fairly limited vocabulary (I'm only 16) so I pretty much say whatever word comes to mind. I don't spend time trying to think of different words mainly because I'm not very good at it.

    This really isn't easy for me to talk about... I'm a pretty quiet person on SF both on the forums and in the chat but I felt I had to make that thread. Thanks for the support everybody it really does mean more to me than you can imagine. :hug:
  14. Locket

    Locket Well-Known Member

    hun, i'm only 17 ... i don't think age comes into it.
    i can see that how you word posts doesn't matter so much when your writing them because you just want to get things off your chest as quickly as possible because these things are hard to talk about.
    it was just a suggestion, one that could help if posting about touchy subjects in the future.
    i can see it isn't easy for you to talk about, you have explained how hard it is coping with these thoughts in the first place.
    nonetheless, it would help you a lot to talk to a professional about this, and see where it all stems from so you can sort it out.
    good luck :heart:
  15. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    well i was basically told not to start a thread about tonight, etc.. so i am going to keep quiet and then all of a sudden this little white dove will be gone. totally and forever,

    few people have pmed me and those that do i always make it a point to tell them up front, dont count on me because i may not be back ever. when i am feeling really down and suicidal, and i post it here much i will either get put on mod preview, or who knows maybe even banned:sad:

    like tonight, or should i say early morning. i have within my hands the means to end it all. rather or not i take that next step is determined how i will feel after i log off, thus is why i say dont count on me being here! right now i am hurting and its hitting me harder then anyone could know, these words could very much be my last words here or then they could not be my last words. each time i log off i am alone. the death of my brother has added more pain then i really needed. it has not only added more pain but brought out the deepest pain inside me from the past, the pain of losing yet someone else. have the people are not yet dead but they are to me like the Daltons, they are not dead but yet they are to me, there gone, they hated me and their gone, everytime i allow my heart to love or get close to people they either die or leave. and each time it puts a martk upon my heart. even like bernie, he told the minister who is doing my brothers funeral or rather i should say he said he warned him about me?? what kind of warning was it huh. that i wont attempt? well if it was that kind then he is dead wrong oh no wait, go ahead and believe that, see when you believe that you cant stop me...

    each mark hurts me, each pain, so bring it on.. add more.. heck yeah, i am strong, i can handle it go ahead bring me more pain... lol you think im strong, well we will soon see wont we????

    i do have to say that there are several good mods and admin here and i know it must be a challange to keep this place safe and i honestly dont see how they do it. to those that do mod and admin this place. thank you!
  16. Cath

    Cath Staff Alumni

    The only threads that they have locked/deleted of yours is when you attack other members for no reason.
    The staff are very tolerant and treat everyone the same. If people are put under mod or banned it's for a good reason. So quit trying to blame others for what you have done :mad:
    If it was me you would of been banned ages ago :smile:
  17. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    And that's why you're not a moderator. :smile:
  18. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Let's get this back on track, shall we?
  19. Cath

    Cath Staff Alumni

    I know and I never will be :laugh:
    Just proves my point that all the staff treat everyone the same and if someone is under mod it's down to them not the staff :smile:
  20. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Lol nice comeback Dave. What has Dave done that really deserves it? I mean everyone has their own mistakes :laugh::laugh: