I'm sorry that you are all better than me. You can talk about what's on your mind but when I talk about what's on mine my threads get locked because I can't control the fucked up thing between my ears. You get support, I get locked. Guess what happens when people can't talk about their problems, they act upon on them. It's getting worse and worse and I'm coming closer and closer to doing it. I have nobody who will even give me a second look in my life and this forum is the only thing I have. I add warnings for things that could possibly be triggering for a reason - DON'T READ THE THREAD IF YOU THINK IT MIGHT TRIGGER YOU. That topic wasn't a trick at all, you should have realized that my topic would not be recalling my past experiences of being abused. If the topic wasn't enough of an obvious hint, you can have read the first line and figured out what the rest of the thread was going to be like. Is it really all that hard to ignore the topic and not let your curiosity get the best of you? There are topics on this forum all the time that trigger me that would not trigger most people but I just ignore them and if I happen to come across somebody who needs help about one I DON'T try and get the thread locked. I'm shocked that people actually wonder why a person would abuse another person. Clearly they are in need of help and if they ask for it they get called a sick mental fucker and ignored. I'm sorry my mind is so fucked up but I can't control it. People never understood it in the past and they never will. Thank you for the few of you that replied trying to help me with any piece of advice no matter how big or small you gave. Now after reading this most or my other thread most of you probably don't give a shit if I do kill myself, right? Do whatever the hell you want to to this thread and my account, I'm done with this shit.