TRIGGER - Please can I ask a favour

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by poster2747, Feb 27, 2012.

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  1. poster2747

    poster2747 Member













    I have been thinking about suicide and preparing a method.
    I am not religious, but think in a spiritual way, and one of my main fears is entering another life after this with the same problems and more added.

    I could not bear to go from this agony to a more agonizing situation.

    After a failed attempt at OD someone I know said that when they were going unconscious, they got a weird feeling that they were doing something intrinsically wrong. This person is not religious.

    I see it as putting myself out of my own misery, and would hate to think I am doing something wrong.
    People hae tried to help me as best they can, but they come nowhere near helping me.
    I end up just repeating my problems over and over to them, and they get annoyed as it just goes round in circles.
    As I am weaning off tranquilisers with nasty withdrawal effects which feel like they are getting worse and worse each day, and also my financial situation and the rules of our country will mean I may never have a secure place to live, I just want to die. There are a lot of other issues too, but right now, I feel it may make me worse, if I write them all down.

    For those who have tried and failed, have you had any feelings or impressions from 'other worlds' before you got rescued, woke up?

  2. box_of_paperclips

    box_of_paperclips New Member

    I took a massive od and nearly died, all I can say is I felt oddly detached from it all. My family and friends crying but I've been too calm,
    Maybe it hasn't sunk in but you pay your money you take your chances.
    If you believe youre an intrinsically good person my belief is you shouldn't be punished for choices you make in a previous life.
    Hope this helps?
  3. Anneinside

    Anneinside Well-Known Member

    I can't believe that a caring God would not understand someone dying by their own hand, however, I don't think that is a good reason to go ahead and do it. You are feeling doubts that no one can relieve, only you have the answer. The answer needs to be life.
  4. JigsawJohn

    JigsawJohn Well-Known Member

    I just wanna say that this might be different for everyone. I guess the person who said he had that feeling of doing something terribly wrong, might not have been completely sure suicide was the right thing for them. I've tried to off myself more times than I can count (and the number is insignificant), and I've felt a lot of different things each time. Some times I've felt relieved to escape this life, other times I've felt as if I'm regretting it and other things too.

    I think that what we really believe in, deep in our hearts, and really wish for to happen, is most likely to be. I believe in reincarnation cause I've been reincarnated, but I don't think there's only one truth that goes for everyone. I hope this was any help at all. Stay strong, I'll try to do the same :)
  5. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    I personally belive in god but I personally think suicide is ok. It is a personal choose to leave god has forgiven all sins and he understands all things. I am by no means saying kill yourself but it is a personal choice. We all choose each day to wand to live. Why should we not then be given the chiose not to live on. I have tried twice in the past. With those two I should be dead five separate times. I guess I am still needed here on this plant whether I like it or not.
  6. Starrbaby235

    Starrbaby235 Member

    I was raised Christian, but I have my moments where I feel like I'm believing in nothing.. Basically I had that "Oh s***!" panic feeling like I was having a heart attack, and dying. I OD'd , and would have been successful . Anyways, I started foaming at the mouth and everything was so hazy and I could feel each body part shutting down. Like I would try to make a fist and couldn't get my fingers to move. It was petrifying and people say you see a bright light- I didn't. I only seen and felt darkness and felt like an idiot for what I did. As much as I wanted to go, I didn't want to go painfully. There was too much consciousness at first, but within an hr, I collapsed. I remember nothing for days, only thing I remember is waking up in ICU, being strapped into a gurnie, and taken to the ward.. It's been 6months and I've purposely stopped taking medication cause I like you hate the feel of being on them. I feel like I have no brain cells, no cares, nothing. No life. Now I am trying to piece myself back together still but it's a cycle, those feelings always come back. I'm in a load of therapy, and though I'm trying to accept my life as it is and move on, I'm also accepting if it ends soon. That feeling was terrifying when I thought I was dying, but that religious "Don't do it." isn't nearly as strong as it was before... I just hope things better for the both of us. Living with the after math is always stressful because people remember, and people who you didn't want to know- know about. My boyfriend left me because of it, my family treats me like a disabled, I've got medical bills to the ceiling. Sometimes I wish I never would have done it, or at leave never woke back up.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 20, 2012
  7. BornAgain

    BornAgain Well-Known Member

    No other worlds, just darkness, didn't hear, see, felt pain, kept asking God where the light was, there was no answer, then there was fire, people yelling, burned skin, ambulance, there was no way physically for me to be alive, priests and pastors all keep telling me it was a true miracle.

    I do believe God didn't want me to let go and I believe the same of all survivors, Find you mission and reason to be here, stay away from the poisonous environment or people that pushed you to that place where you are, if you want to die is because you feel your soul empty and sad, find a way to fill it up and be happy.

    God bless you...
  8. brandi88

    brandi88 New Member

    umm im new to this site well ive actually never thought to use something like the internet before but anyways im 25 now and ive been trying to kill myself sincei was 12 it5 started inocently like cutting arms but just kept getting worse or should i say maybe the ways/tatics i used got sad to admit but morbidly disturbing im not going to talk about what they were cuz i dont want anyone to get ideas from me obviously i wouldnt make it if someone tried the same so i will say ive been in comas probably atleast 15 times from od's ive had blood transfusions from blood loss due to cutting many other things that are way to triggering so i do remember that the last attempt which was techically successful cuz my heart stopped and i had to have a defibulator used on me but six weeks later when i came out of the coma my first thoughts were okay were am i? but here the catch i try to ask the nurse sitting by the bed but i didnt have a voice it wouldnt work come to find out that i have a traike so im not trying to preach or say anyone elses pain isnt as bad but we all really need to think or at least try to think cuz sometimes ppl are in a state were they literally can think atleast not ratioanlly plz dont let this happen to you i dont know you but icare about you and share your pain it may not be they excat same as mine but you can still relate i wont tell you there is always hope because im not even sure if thats true i do want to believe it though sometimes sometimes i wonder if all the hard work it is going to take to get well if its really worth it so if anyone who reads this that are even just alittle well can youy plz letme know if its worth the work or if i should hold on a little longer?
  9. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hey honey, IT IS WORTH THE WORK, HUN!

    You might not have much of an idea where to begin....... I survived suicide by a miracle (will write it here some day if any1's interested in hearing it) - and had NO IDEA how I was going to "come right"

    But, God was indeed merciful to me, beyond my deserving (which He always is, actually, to everyone.....(if they but could know that)

    and - well - here I am - but I can take no credit for it, only that He has given me the grace and the resources to work it all out. It is true (but might sound heartless) that those who seek find....... I don't know why life has to be this way, but there are reasons we can discover, hun.

    Bottom line, tho - Yes, the work is worth it. Your perspective enlarges, you see everything in a different light, and all the 'God stuff' makes sense on a deeper level than it ever did before.
  10. brandi88

    brandi88 New Member

    thanks for responding umm things actually arent that well im not in a crisis right now but spending all my time and energy trying to be someone/thing i used to be/do can u watch this and comment good or bad comments are accepted i NEED to make a choice here!!! so go to you tube and search ANOREXIA PLEASE BE HONEST WATCH AND PLEASE RESPOND desperate right now!!!!
    oh this is obviously your choice to watch this and respond but it will help!!!
  11. Broken Wings

    Broken Wings Well-Known Member

    To the original poster--
    The impression I got in my most serious attmept (the one where I actually was unconcious for a period of time) was that of nothingness.
    A blankness of being, infused with that light airy feeling that you get when everything just falls in place perfectly.

    It is that feeling that tells me, personally, that what waits for me is something I want.
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