If only those around me could forget that I exist.. they'd never have to see the tears of blood upon my wrist, I'd never be a problem or a burden to them all.. there'd be no need to catch me from a rather lengthy fall... It's easier to judge me from the outside of my shell, but hard to understand my state within the depths of hell, No-one really knows that I am simply just not well, to be discernibly deciding when to say farewell.. I've tried to hold out onto hope that one day things will change, yet most of those around me suggest that I am strange, Never really fitted in to what others would want, not even found my own path now I'm thinking "what's the point?" To lose someone in family to their choice of ends, means i'll never get to see them in this life again, They are not in pain no more and they are now just free, so why do I just want to join them... and there'd be no more me. The main reason I'm holding back is through the guilt and shame, of being the one to cause these others plentiful more pain, As well as lack of confidence to act on what I say, there's always this nagging doubt, that I will do, one day.