I've been trying to post about this for a while but kept cancelling it but now I'll just do it. I jhate myself, i really, really do hate myself to the core of my being I feel like I was put on this earth just to be used and any good i hear about myself, or anything good that does happen to me, I feel like I don't deserve it or people are lying because I just can't believe it. I really struggle to believe anything that is apparently good about it. I feel controlled by everything I do I can't let go I so fucking badly want to let go of things but I can't it's who I am. I feel infected, I just want to dig and dig and dig to get the toxins out of my body I hurt everyone. I upset people, I make people worry, why? Why do people care. People shouldn't care I feel so unworthy of peoples care. Gawd I fucking hate myself. It feels like my insides are screaming I so badly just want to give up. I want to hurt myself more I want to feel the pain I should be feeling I fucking hate myself.