triggered *language and triggers*

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by *dilligaf*, May 7, 2007.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    i just want to do it. wish i had never come back online, wish i had just done it when i felt like it. ive got the pictures here to help me, and ive been triggered badly by those sites and a conversation in chat earlier, i should just get on with it. i dont think i have enough to do it, but i certainly have enough to take the pain away for a while. and more than that i have my little friend who always makes it feel better for a few minutes, it might come in handy soon.

    all those things i posted about the other day. i hate them. i hate me. simple as.

    i hate what i have done to people, and what i am still doing to them.

    i hate whats happening to my nan, that i couldnt stop it, that i didnt do anything about it at the time. and i would fucking give ANYTHING to swap places with her right now. anything :cry:

    i hate the fucking pressure everyone is putting me under. the making me promise i wont od again, the telling me what it would do to my nan if i did. guess what you fucking prats..ITS MAKING ME WORSE and more determined to succeed next time. thanks for that :rolleyes:

    i cant help anyone, i cant help myself, i have no purpose. time to give in i think.

    where did i put it.... :mellow:
     
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Get rid of those fecking pictures now!!! you say you'd do anything for me well please listen to me right now. You can't have those pictures near you. I hate myself for letting you anywhere near that site.

    You have no purpose??? Re read that email again and then tell me you don't have a purpose. You know you do.

    Please darling. Don't do this. I'm begging you :cry:
     
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    was not ur fault. and incase u were wondering, the site i got triggered by wasnt that one, just looking at something about my nan.

    im sure ive just been begging u not to do anything, and the only reason i posted this is cos i thought u were lying down and wouldnt see it.

    ill be fine, just need to sleep
     
  4. sam listen to what vikkis said, she's right. you need to get rid of those pictures sweetheart, you no they wont help you. please be okay sam and dont do anything :( :hug:
     
  5. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    You got the pics from a site i let you near. So whos fault is that?? my own. I should of protected you and look whats happened. Your triggering yourself.

    and what would of happened if i was??i would of woke up to that and i would of been awake ALL night worrying about you.

    And check ya phone.
     
  6. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    *goes to get phone*

    Vikki, stop blaming yourself hun. im a big girl