Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by ThePhantomLady, Apr 30, 2016.

  1. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    The session before last I told my therapist I had been raped... she already knew I had been through sexual abuse and stuff...

    We didn't work on it yet, we're 'saving' it until after I've finished 20 sessions of DBT so I'm better skilled to coping with digging up in this trauma...

    but yeah... I have PTSD for various reasons, one of them is the rape... and I'm generally afraid of males... (some I class as safe in my head, that's mostly gay men). My therapist says she understands that, after all I've been put through... but it's something I am willing to work on. Logically I know not every man is out to hurt me. Right?

    I have been at a family dinner today (ugh.) but I was worried a certain family member would be there... a guy who has two addictions, booze and women. And while he has never actually assaulted me; he's been inappropriate, and even, on facebook, stated his intent... (while obviously drunk)... The guy wasn't there, luckily...

    And tonight I got the final trigger 'hit'.
    My friends are always posting anti rape stuff on facebook... something I support too, and I often share the stuff too.
    Tonight one of my friends shared an article about how some men weren't punished for their crimes because of technicalities... that's one thing... but the picture for the article was VERY triggering and graphic to me. It was a woman screaming, and a hand trying to cover her mouth.

    It's messed me up.
  2. (((HUG))) I am so sorry that you were triggered it is so hard when that happens. I know that you have a really good memory so saying to just forget about it won't be helpful but I want you to try to replace the thought with other things, a movie, a book, something with lots of pictures (google pictures that are really relaxing to you). it is really hard to forget about it but if your mind is occupied with other things then you can't think about the trigger.

    Keep fighting. You can do it.
    lightning05 and ThePhantomLady like this.
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Poop, I'm sorry. I hate that triggers can just hit us. I hope today is better for you and that you are feeling safe and calm.
    ThePhantomLady likes this.
  4. StellaAnne

    StellaAnne Active Member

    I totally understand you, I've only just reactivated my fb account for the same reasons, I actually felt better for the break from it, you are a strong person, I read your posts about the family dinner, you're experiences are so like mine, you've done it which means next time might be easier, take care, hugs
    ThePhantomLady likes this.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Oh dear, hugs hun! I'm sorry this has distressed you. That's very understandable considering all you have been through. You're a great person, you are kind, caring and very supportive, you should feel great about yourself! we <3 you!!
    ThePhantomLady likes this.
  6. lightning05

    lightning05 Well-Known Member

    I'm really glad that jerk wasn't at your dinner! Sorry that you were triggered by the picture on fb. I'm glad your friends are very vocal about posting anti-rape stuff and that is very supportive and I am glad that other people (even if they haven't gone through it themselves) are able to be allies. Just know that you have helped me and so many other people on this site and that you're a great person! I hope you're feeling more calm after that. <3 *hugs*
    ThePhantomLady likes this.