TRIGGERING i want to fff scream!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by deathangel101, Aug 8, 2013.

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  1. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    i swear flashbacks are all that are on my mind right now i cnt help but think about the things that have happened to me even though it has been 7 years but i cnt forget or get it out of my mind........ the first time he did it i was 6 and i crawled in bed with him i remember it was summer so i didnt have school and so i wanted to sleep in my daddy's bed i was his little girl i thought he would never hurt me... boy was i wrong...that morning he pulled his pants down n looked at me he asked me what it looked like i sed it looked like a brain.... he tld me to touch it n to not tell my mother i of course being so young didnt know there was anything wrong with it so i obliged n touched it later it led to him touching me after a few months he made me start< edit mod total eclipse triggering>..a couple of months later was the first day he raped me the pain was excrutiating n i cried but he muffled my screams out with a pillow....whenever i refused him i was beaten badly this continued til i was 11 n i finally had the courage to telll altho he found out i tld my friend and he beat me senseless i didnt even recognise myself he tld my mother i fell down the concrete stairs n i went along with it.... when i finally got taken away they tld my mother wat my father did and she didnt believe me....that broke my heart i was torn up inside that my own mother didnt believe me but i thought about it what if she knew this whole time i didnt kno wat to think but when i have these flashbacks i just hear me screaming and crying i can feel his disgusting filthy hands on me and i jus cnt get the images out of my head n i dnt know wat to do it only seems to get worse wit the amount of meds n councling im taking it jus doesnt help wat do i do???? plz help me give me some advise plz!!!!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 16, 2013
  2. dannyboy86

    dannyboy86 Active Member

    TRIGGERING Re: i want to fffff scream!!!!!!!!!!

    Its not your fault. You really need to get some counceling. One thing sexual predators do is try and give you something that you want or need in exchange for a sexual favor. They try and buy your trust before doing something like this. Sounds hard hang in there.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 16, 2013
  3. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    TRIGGERING Re: i want to ffffff scream!!!!!!!!!!

    now im hvin terrible dreams <edit mod total elipse too triggering> i cnt take it no more
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 16, 2013
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