It's a question I've been trying to ask for a while but I haven't had the guts. I know I can't be the only one, but it is my fear. So far all the symptoms I've been able to find and knowing I'm not alone in them but this one is very hard to admit to ask. Like, if I ask I'm solidifying it. Anyway enough rambling and getting to it.. Has anyone else found themselves with I guess fond, fondish, feelings for their abuser? I hate him, but when I see pictures, I feel so conflicted. He terrifies me, it terrifies me. I don't go looking for him, but he's started popping up on my Facebook news feed as he's I guess he will alays be a part of the family somehow. I'm too scared to block him like not wanting to turn the lights out because you might not see the monsters. He was the closest thing I ever had to a father figure. I don't think that's the reason though. It sickens me. I feel sick when I don't feel utter hatred, or at least disgust for the man. He preyed on young teens as long as they weren't blood related. Years of him. Having to live under the same roof. Four years. Four years and my brain confuses him for someone that deserves to be liked, or admired or something. I can't figure out exactly what it is I feel but I hate it. Tell me I'm not alone. That it's normal, that I'm not sick and twisted.