Why do things come to mind out of literally nowhere? We can manage to forget instances in our lives we'd rather forget, but one day - BOOM - they decide to reawaken. And then, its like a tidal wave of ugly stuff. One thought leads to another and then another and then another and so on. My system is fragile at this time, I know this. So why would my mind allow these thoughts to resurface when I am not completely able to handle them or deal with them? And so, this morning, amongst my sadness and stupid worries, I feel scared. Hypervigilent. Extremely anxious. And yes, finally, I feel as though I don't wish to be here.