triggering thoughts

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Jul 26, 2012.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Why do things come to mind out of literally nowhere? We can manage to forget instances in our lives we'd rather forget, but one day - BOOM - they decide to reawaken. And then, its like a tidal wave of ugly stuff. One thought leads to another and then another and then another and so on. My system is fragile at this time, I know this. So why would my mind allow these thoughts to resurface when I am not completely able to handle them or deal with them?

    And so, this morning, amongst my sadness and stupid worries, I feel scared. Hypervigilent. Extremely anxious. And yes, finally, I feel as though I don't wish to be here.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I think it's like a bottle of soda water. All that carbonation lies dormant. You can shake it up a bit, but BOOM when you open it. Maybe openly acknowledging the bad things and then setting them aside would help. Or sometimes, just knowing that the nasty memories will provoke feelings. Feelings are just "feelings" - we don't have to act on them. They will go away if we ride out the storm.

    Be safe today. :hug:
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    "They" say we only think of things we can handle...I think 'they' are wrong...many times I am triggered by something almost imperceptive, like a smell or a sound, that might not have gotten my attention, but lingered until it exploded out of my grandmother's perfrume, the smell of her seal coat are associated to a brief fragrance when in the car or my cat's fur when he is in my lap...sometimes, I cannot find what set me you, I feel like I wish I had a switch that only got turned on when I thought I as more OK...sorry it is so rough today...big hugs and much caring
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you both :grouphug:

    I'm sorry.
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    You have nothing to be sorry for. We do not control how we feel, just how we handle how we feel. The feelings will come as they will, Mo. Just hold on through the rough spots. :hug:
  6. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    i think too when we are fragile, we become rather vulnerable to these things (that may not have made sense my head is a slightly out of it).
    Maybe we kind of get in a bit of a weakened state. i know at times i cannot fight what's in my head or self-talk my way out of it, so it just hits and i'm at the
    mercy of what my head throws at me. I become stuck in this chair, images/remembering/smells/visuals/sounds/etc thrown hard at me, sweating profusely, chest pounding, and lately i, depending how exhausted i am, i get blank spaces then suddenly i am back here and now, if that makes any sense. Maybe a built in protection mechanism. i think for me those blank spaces are stress overload, where i cannot handle it and it perhaps protects me a bit. i get disoriented from that. I do a lot of deep's become almost an automatic reaction when i become aware my pulse is rapid or breathing shallow or fast. Usually the deep breathing is like an almost instant calm, like a tranq.

    That last sentence sounds like some ptsd
    Those things cannot be forever forgotten, they eventually force their way. Finding safe ways to work through them, i think is important.
    so much more i could say and share, but i so lack any energy. I am sorry

    (((gentle hug)))))
    you are not alone
    and thank you ((hug))
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