Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Fuzzy Monkey, Dec 13, 2008.

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  1. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    i came home and my mom yelled at me, i had a really bad day , theres no food, nothing to drink. my dad yelled at me for waking him up by walking to my room. mom told me im a dumbfuck. and a fucker, then told me that im not allowed to take to car to school anymore. all of this and what happened at school just over powered and i cut. the feeling of blood flowing down my arm feels so good. all day today i wanted to swallow a bottle of pills but i only had 5 asprin in my bag. so i took the metal thing from the science class and went to the bathroom and scraped it against my arm, ive been doing that everyday for the past 2 weeks. i saw the social worker today, all he did was make me more depressed. i wanna reach out to someone, let them help me. but ive been hurt so many times i just cant set myself up to get hurt again. i cant trust him, he has a history of lying to me, im uncomfortable even talking to him, they wont let me change social workers, the one that was helping me before wont even speak to me cuz of some contract bullshit
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello Fuzzmonkey,

    I'm sorry you felt the need to cut :hug:
    Is there anyway you can get a private therapist? Or see a new doctor? The one you have obviously isn't helping and if you can't even trust him then there's no point even talking to him. I hope you find the help you need and deserve soon :hug:

  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Fuzzy. Sorry to hear that your parents are treating you so poorly. Try your best to resist the urge to cut yourself. I know its hard, but cutting only makes things worse. :hug:
  4. sweetie trust me on this, it will seem hard to find a new person to talk to, but it could be the best thing you have ever done. My last psychologist was only makingme worse and at one stage blamed me for some nasty things in my past. when i eventually found the courage to find a new person, things were a lot easier as the new one had completely different techniques and made me comfortable.
    im pleased you are able to admit that you cut. i would hug you to make you stop if i could. sometimes a little hug makes all the difference ::):
  5. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    thanks, the school is messed up. im not allowed to talk to any adminatrator including social workers and councilers, the social worker im going to now im not even suppose to talk to him, but since i dont tell him anything no one knows. the social worker that i had my sophomore year was helping me alot. if she wasnt i wouldnt have ever told her i want to die. well when i told her that, she kicked me out and made a contract saying i cant talk to anyone, its now my senior year and i still cant talk to her. when i see her in the hallway, ill tell her i need to talk to her, she just says that shes busy and doesnt have time, maybe another day, but then she never sends me a pass or anything. she basically avoids me. i dont kno, all school social workers suck
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