Triggers

#1
I have one huge trigger: my dog. He has the disease GERD which in itself doesn't sound so severe but in dogs it is a little different than in humans. The acid in a dog's stomach is a lot more acidic than in humans and it really burns their esophagus and leaves ulcers in it. It burns their larynx too. He has a hard time breathing and gulps, gags and can't hardly breath. He coughs and crys everytime he coughs from pain. He panics and wants to be right on me. With him being 100 pounds it isn't easy.
When he first starts, I go right into the worst panic attack. I get hot, vomit, and totally lose control of my mind. I develop strong thoughts of suicide and cannot stand to be alone. It has got to the point where I am so nervous that I watch him constantly for the tiniest sign of problem. I find it hard to enjoy him as much as I used to because he is a source of anxiety. He had his most severe attack ever on the night of the 23rd. I had him into my vet on an emergency call on the morning of the 24th, He was having severe symptoms and ended up on two more medications. The attack lasted 5 days. By day 2 I had a major breakdown and couldn't quit crying and yelling as loud as I could for God to take me and for Phoenix not to leave me. I was so suicidal my sister had to stay and watch me. I don't remember a lot of what even went on I was in such bad condition. I started coming out of it a couple days ago and I'm feeling a little better. It was the worst mental breakdown I have ever had and I have been through terrible terrible things. I never knew it could be that bad and it really scares me. I don't know why I [posted this I just wanted someone who understood to know what I had gone through. Just a note, I do have a psych NP and a therapist so I am in treatment.
 

Nick

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#2
Hi @every76years
I can relate a little to what you are saying. My cat has a medical condition, and I do at times get obsessive looking to see if there are any signs to be concerned about. I can get really anxious when she is sick. We really care about them, we love them, and when they aren't doing well it's hard. I don't have any great suggestions. All I can really say is that I understand. There are things that have helped me with my panic attacks, but it doesn't always work. I hope the vet is able to find some meds that help your dog to do better on a longer term basis.
 

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