As the title suggests, trigger thoughts/actions may be found here. So, what exactly causes you to become depressed? I am not always depressed, and I can go on for days or even weeks without feeling down at all. But then there are times when I just can't seem to get "up". Suddenly, the only thoughts I have are of suicide and hurting myself. For me, it can be just about anything that triggers a "low". I can be perfectly fine, enjoying life and its like someone hits the light switch and suddenly life sucks and all I want to do is leave it. Looking back on a few of my recent depressions or "low spots", I find that in my case most of my triggers involve a deep fear of failing or not meeting someones expectations. Really, anything less than perfect every time can put me into a staggering, suicidal low. The thing is, sometimes I can cope with it and other time I cannot. For instance, I work as a network installer and many of my projects in sub-standard buildings, making a "perfect job" impossible. I can go into this fully aware that there is no way short of growing a halo or rebuilding the building to make it perfect, but anything wrong can mess me up for days or weeks. Yet at other times, ill do my best and it will turn out "ok" at best and I'll be satisfied, call it a day and sleep well at night. To give you another example of how bad this can get, there are times when I cannot even play solitare on the computer! I get such a feeling of failure and inadiquacy (or however the hell you spell it) at such simple things that I can barely function. I even had to quit online games because I simply could not deal with me doing anything less than perfect in an imaginary world!!. I really don't know how to cope with this, being quite mortal I make many mistakes in life... I just don't know which ones will make me want to kill myself.