Trivial concerns...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Zueri, Apr 11, 2007.

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  1. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    I have been gathering the courage to post this for quite some time. Here goes nothing...

    In the past few weeks, moderation on Suicide Forums has been - to say the very least - horrible. Certain members have been banned/put on moderation for minor offenses, whilst serious offenders have avoided this treatment...As much as I hate to resurrect this issue, it seems that favoritism has once again reared its ugly head.

    Rules have been changed simply in order to "preserve the peace."
    And, SF once claimed that no post made on SF would ever be deleted...What happened to that rule, o mighty mods? Entire threads have been deleted...

    What was once an excellent community has turned into a "gangland."

    I really do despise bringing this up again, and I hope that it won't offend.

    Once again, apologies...but, this is a "Let it out" board, is it not?
     
  2. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    The reasons for members being placed under moderation are not made public, perhaps they should be so this sort of situation does not occur again. But having people's mistakes memorialised on here would probably only lead to guilt and bad feelings, which helps no one.

    There has never been a rule that posts are not deleted, posts have been deleted since before I was a member. And posts are deleted on request sometimes, depending on circumstances. It is accounts and all of a member's posts that we refuse to delete. Hope that clears up that issue.

    There may be a small amount of favouratism here, but what you have to remember is that the staff members are people too. We have friends and relationships and we're just as falible and fiercly protective of the people we love as you or anyone else. I can say however that every mod takes pride in their position and if they thought they were treating some people unfairly then would either take a break or resign. And the other staff would call them up on it too. Please believe that.

    Feel free to let your feelings out, but if you want to effect some changes talking to Robin about this would be a better idea as threads like these tend to develop into arguments which have to be closed. And I'm sure that's not what you want.
     
  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Whole threads have been deleted due to the fact that it breaks other rules. I have had a thread deleted. In fact Malcontent was the one to delete it and he happens to be a good friend of mine.

    If its regarding chat some people aren't warned actually in chat because they are on skype at the time and they are warned on their, i myself have heard people warned on skype but just not in chat so this may be why you think people are getting away with things.

    I think if you have a major problem with it then to take it to Robin but i think all the petty arguing needs to stop. Because people are getting tired off it and so are the staff.
     
  4. Jungr

    Jungr Active Member

    No, syiah...

    Your opinions are far too independent and rational. They don't stand a chance against the irrational hatred of the uniformed.

    Jesus said: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven;" and if you don't shape up and join the caravan, then you'll be smitten - again and again.

    Talking to moderators about rules (especially to Robin) is a Catch 22.
     
  5. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    It's true that things seem to have changed on SF. The sphere seems to have gotten more 'hostile', people seem to take offense pretty quickly these days, but also people seem to have gotten more aggressive.

    I know that especially chat has had quite some issues lately, and that seems to be spreading on to the forum, which really sucks butt.

    As weird as this may sound, but I agree with all 3 previous posters. Like syiah said, favoritism seems to take place sometimes, but then again like Mal said, staff are people too AND like Vikki said people do get warnings on skype.

    All I know is that I've played a big part in many issues over the past 2 months, hence why Ive been banned from chat quite a few times, had quite a few threads deleted, had a few PMs from staff containing warnings and am under moderation for the second time now, and I know I won't be off it for some weeks at least (which plain sucks, but yeh, I understand it).

    Thing is, I just keep wondering what happened... how this 'hostile' sphere came on here...
    Is everyone 'just' having a really hard winter/spring, or are there some members who wanna stir things up, or maybe with all the news about terrorists and attacks and god knows what else, people are just scared and get aggressive and start taking it out on others?

    I don't know, and I doubt if we'll ever find out, where all this is coming from, but I do know that I think we should all work on building this community back to what it was.
    Get the groupspirit (or whatever you wanna call it) back

    :grouphug:

    :peace: "Make love, not war" :peace:
     
  6. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Me thinks we all just need to chill out. Peeps need to stop being so damn argumentative. All its doing is splitting the community up and considering what kind of site this its not very wise to do such a thing.

    It needs to stop NOW otherwise its gonna push someone over the edge and no one wants that.
     
  7. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    I think I will turn blue with apologies...sorry, sorry, sorry. I just had to rant! :shy:

    Yet, I still can't shut up. :dry: Onward!

    I can imagine people would be tired of it, vikki. That's the reason behind this post...I hope this won't incite any ill feelings in people, but it's starting to bug the hell out of me...

    And, Malcontent, it is in the rules...
    "We also do not delete posts as it ruins the continuity of all threads and opens the forum to massive abuse, we can however remove personally identifiable information from posts, such as email addresses, real names etc etc" - Perhaps consider rephrasing?

    Partiality is only natural, I understand. I'm simply voicing a concern about it...It seems to be getting a tad out of hand lately.

    I'll try to shut up now.






    "My dear sir, they don't debate. Each of them merely issues an ultimatum, and in what a tone! It all goes to show what extraordinary people they are, each more unequivocal than the other."
     
  8. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Ester, thank you for that post. We've had our differences but I completely agree with you on this.

    There is a huge sense of hosility on SF these days, and while it's tempting to blame it all on one person/situation I feel that it goes deeper than that. I wish we could figure out why, but as you say I doubt we ever will.

    I hope you don't mind me using you as an example, I mean no offense, but the favouratism thing goes both ways. You have abeen and friends with staff members and to be honest you would have been in trouble a lot sooner if you hadn't. That applies to several others who unfortunately have ended up banned.

    We're all in the same boat here people, we all have experience of depression/suicidality. Why do we have to fight? No one here wants to hurt others, so why are we?
     
  9. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    But i'm sure you understand that if a thread is being abusive to members or giving our methods or encouraging self harm or suicide then they have to be removed for safety of others.

    I don't think it will generate any ill feelings at all. It seems a lot of people are getting tired off it and it needs to be sorted.

    :hug:
     
  10. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    My appolgies, you are correct. It's meant to be taken into context with the rule above it (about the fact that we don't delete accounts) but I can see how that would be misconstrued. So I will bring this to the attention of the other staff, and we will edit the rules accordingly. Thank you for bringing that oversight to our attention.
     
  11. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member


    Course I don't mind you using me as example. :hug:
    I guess that on a forum, where staffmembers are actively involved with the website favoritism can't be avoided. Because, like mentioned before, staffmembers are people and people are human and human beings can't always have an objective view on things/situations, especially if there's friends involved. That's the beauty but at the same time 'curse' of being human. Or am I talking complete nonsense yet again :unsure:

    Like Five sings (yes, I'm going to quote lyrics from the boyband Five, please don't hurt me :shy: :laugh: )

    I was gonna say more here, concerning all the arguing and fighting that's been going on recently, but now I forgot what exactly I was going to say :dry: :doh:
    Anyway it was something along the lines of: everyone seems to be getting tired of the fights, so like Mal said why are we still fighting?


    :peace:
     
  12. Jungr

    Jungr Active Member

    You just confirmed that she is a favorite, that her actions are above other members'. I guess some farm animals are more equal than others...

    Because the confusion has warranted questions, questions have been ignored, the silence causes frustration and - finally - the frustration leads to a response from those who feel targeted by authority.

    And no, we are not in the same boat.
     
  13. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    oh and can I just start a little wave :groupwave

    because I think this is the first thread in which these things are being discussed, which hasn't turned into a fight yet!
    We're all actually being reasonable, speaking our opinions without any fighting.
    It's a healthy debate or whatever you wanna call it. (*knocks wood*)
    I'd say that's a really good thing, which I for one am very pleased about :biggrin:


    :grouphug:


    Is this a start to rebuilding the loving community without the hostility?



    Gosh, I still love y'all!!!
    :peace:
     
  14. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Jungr,

    I'm sorry you feel that your questions have been ignored, unfortunately when questions are asked and answered in anger the situation often isn't resolved. I believe this situation can be solved however, I think every just needs to stay calm and try to hear the other person's opinion.

    I don't mean to offend, but the staff also feel targeted, ignored, and frustrated by members. Everyone involved is being hurt by this, and we all need to work together to make it stop.
     
  15. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Firsty, i should come to holland and kick your arse for that Est! :eek:hmy: :whack:

    Lets not turn this into another argument. I'm actually enjoying the convosation going on in this thread. I respect syiah a lot for the way she brang this up.

    As said before staff are humans staff members CAN be lineant of some members because they happen to be friends. Its a natural things. Its hard to just detach from that but staff do try the best they can in my opinion. Its not an easy thing to do.

    This is SF - a SUPPORT forum for people in crisis. All that is being caused is another 'crisis' to the point where people are harming them selfs over it. Doesn't that shows its gone TOO far.

    We could sit here all day pointing the finger. But in my opinion every single person has a part to play for letting it get this far. It should have NEVER got to this point.

    Staff are feeling targeted over this. BOTH members and staff are hurting over this. We're meant to be supporting each other through this difficult time not causing MORE problems and stress on top of that.
     
  16. Jungr

    Jungr Active Member

    Your attitude is that of a parent patting a child on its head. This is no way to speak to an equal.

    Not only do you misunderstand the concept of frustration, but you are also trying to make it backfire on me. This is an insanely comical situation, where I am either forced to step down (consenting to your hierarchical supremacy) or be silenced (seeing your hierarchical supremacy take form) or, in a worst case scenario, be banned (seeing the utmost limit of your hierarchical supremacy).

    This is a Catch-22, a no-win situation.
     
  17. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    You obviously have a real problem with anything u see as an authority figure Jungr and are a prime example of what we've been trying to say here..a fight for the sake of a bloody fight.
     
  18. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I avoid chat these days, my psych said I should avoid the site....period, but it isnt that easy. I cant be bothered with the arguements or the pointless bickering, he said, she said, finger pointing rubbish...I grew out of that in primary school.

    I find it hard to believe "adults" are so easily wound up.

    People definately need to chill out, and people need to have some respect for the role mods/admins play on this site, and realise, at the end of the day, we cant all agree on everything...let it be, and move on.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 11, 2007
  19. Jungr

    Jungr Active Member

    At least I restrain myself from personal attacks and foul language. I am concerned about the role and power of the staff. The person behind the "badge" is not an enemy of mine.
     
  20. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    let's not start pointing fingers again, please? :hiding:

    Let's not talk about who does what and what has happened and what's been done "wrong" or "right" in the past, what's happened has happened.
    Instead let us look at what has happened and what could be changed to work forward to rebuilding the loving community as it once was.

    :peace:
     
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