Troubles of The Teenager who has an old lady's conditon!

[DayDreamerStratus]

JESUS CHRIST, They just make Highschool sound like it's the place where your life truly begins. It's your most defining moment, the place that helps you map out the road ahead. So of course I had to get the mental and physical illness bundle! Does the system give a damn? No of course not. But thing is, they can threaten me all they want but there isn't a thing they can do about it. I am disabled, and plenty of doctors can vouch for me. That doesn't stop me from being stressed as hell, and guess what? STRESS IS MY WORSE PAIN TRIGGER! I hate the school laws/system. Hate it, hate it, hate it! It was made for neurotypicals and average people, not people like me! I am screwed and I am so frustrated! I am more than my disability! I have so much that I can offer this world! But no, currently my disability defines me! I could be a straight A student. But no I am reduced to absolutely nothing. What did I do to deserve this? Why is there no cure? No one cares about the Fibro, they all care about the kid with cancer. Honestly, I'd be fine switching places with that kid. A death sentence is better than a life sentence imo. I just want to have a decent life again. All of these people care about me so I can't just go on my marry way and commit suicide. I'm satisfied with my life anyways, so the best I can hope for is an unfortunate accident to end me soon and quick. I feel so damn alone. I don't know any other people with my circumstances, and it really burns. I don't want people to know my suffering, but at the same time I wish someone could understand.

 

[Acy]

DayDreamerStratus, I'm sorry to hear how things are for you.

Sadly enough, life plunks obstacles and challenges of many different kinds in a person's life with little if any regard as to whether or not it's fair or they "deserve" them. The biggest challenge for all of us is to recognize the challenges and do what we can "in spite of them." That doesn't mean that we pretend we don't feel the "Aaaarrrgh, why? Why me?" Just means we first accept things, and then rise to the occasion to do our best even though we're struggling with stuff. Easy for me to say, and harder to do. I get that, as well. I believe you ARE more than your "disability," and I'm hoping you are a fighter.

I am not sure what your specific condition is, but it sounds challenging. I get that things trigger it - common things that happen to people in high school - learning/education/tests, social life/other teens, classmates, projects and deadlines. I'm a practical thinker - are there some strategies you can use to "manage" your responses to stress? Many people use meditation and self-reflection, deep breathing exercises, visualization. Perhaps your physicians and support team could direct you on learning about those. I also get that you don't want the world knowing that you have some kind of "condition." Do you have a school counsellor? Perhaps s/he and you could form a plan on how to let the "teachers only" know so that they are more sensitive to your situation, and they would NOT talk about it with the students. Then you would be left with just the normal stressors from your classmates and buddies that most teens face.

Just ideas. I can hear how upset and frustrated you are. Let us know how you're doing with things. *big hug*

 

[DayDreamerStratus]

DayDreamerStratus, I'm sorry to hear how things are for you.

Sadly enough, life plunks obstacles and challenges of many different kinds in a person's life with little if any regard as to whether or not it's fair or they "deserve" them. The biggest challenge for all of us is to recognize the challenges and do what we can "in spite of them." That doesn't mean that we pretend we don't feel the "Aaaarrrgh, why? Why me?" Just means we first accept things, and then rise to the occasion to do our best even though we're struggling with stuff. Easy for me to say, and harder to do. I get that, as well. I believe you ARE more than your "disability," and I'm hoping you are a fighter.

I am not sure what your specific condition is, but it sounds challenging. I get that things trigger it - common things that happen to people in high school - learning/education/tests, social life/other teens, classmates, projects and deadlines. I'm a practical thinker - are there some strategies you can use to "manage" your responses to stress? Many people use meditation and self-reflection, deep breathing exercises, visualization. Perhaps your physicians and support team could direct you on learning about those. I also get that you don't want the world knowing that you have some kind of "condition." Do you have a school counsellor? Perhaps s/he and you could form a plan on how to let the "teachers only" know so that they are more sensitive to your situation, and they would NOT talk about it with the students. Then you would be left with just the normal stressors from your classmates and buddies that most teens face.

Just ideas. I can hear how upset and frustrated you are. Let us know how you're doing with things. *big hug*

Thank you very much for the kind words. My favorite coping mechanisms are lucid dreaming and meditation! I also draw all the time, you can never see me without a sketchbook really. I've tried my hand at painted watercolors as well, and those paintings tend to turn out lovely. I listen to all sorts of music and occupy myself with my interests mostly, and it's helped me to feel a bit more content. My feelings of wanting to stop existing still persist, but I have found ways to deal with my cirumstances. And when it comes to the world knowing about my condition, it's definitely a conflicting thought. I want people to be conscious that I struggle now and then, but there's been too many times where I've had to miss out on things or am not thought of because "we thought you'd be too sick for that" and people start underestimating me.. It's a delicate balance I guess. My patience runs thin sometimes, and I get frustrated as I was at the time when I made this thread. But, I am hanging in there!

 

[Acy]

Stratus, thank you for replying. I appreciate learning more about you! You seem quite well put together in spite of the hurdles you have to jump. I like all the coping mechanisms you have mentioned - all are so creative, expressive and giving of who you are. Drawing and painting are relaxing, need skill and focus and produce something unique that you give to the world from YOUR perspective. That's lovely!

Finding that balance, that fine line between letting people know your situation and having them make assumptions about it is quite possibly something you could talk to your doctors/support team about, and maybe even a school counsellor. I think anyone who has some kind of different ability or challenge probably has to find a way to let the world know "I'm ok. Ask me to join in. I will I can and want to. If I can't, I'll speak up. Please, just INCLUDE me instead of assuming I can't/won't join in." (I suspect your peers who have the most maturity are perhaps most likely to get it. Even mature people sometimes need a nudge or gentle reminder.)

I'm pleased you are indeed a fighter! In spite of the challenges, you're out there doing all you can! That looks really good on you!

Keep us posted. I'm hoping that you can try out some ways to get people around you to clue in. It might take some trial and error. Honestly, I'd say the worst part will be for those who don't hear and don't get to know you better!

Take care of yourself and have a happy weekend. *

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

Then ask what the alternatives/options are if you cannot do the regular school regimen if its taxing on you physically and mentally. Discuss with your parent/guardian if they are up to other options available. that's in the US not know anything about the other countries