True Love hurts..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by darkarma, Nov 28, 2006.

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  1. darkarma

    darkarma Member

    At the start of this year I started feeling real depressed and suicidal. I don't know why, Its just like.. I didn't want to go on. Like theres nothing left for me in life.. and I couldn't be bothered going on and I turned to self-harm... but then I met this girl.. We connected on so different levels. We understood each other like no other.. but being with her, it made me feel happy.. made me feel like I was worth something to someone.

    I fell deeply in love with her.. and the feelings were the same till something happened.. and her feelings towards me changed while my feelings got stronger. She started feeling trapped.. she thought I might do something if we broke up and thats the only reason we were going out for so long.

    We broke up recently.. and its so hard. I honestly can't go on without her.. im only young and I know i`ll meet other girls but I don't want to.. She ment the world to me and now I have nothing.. I got so emotionally attached to this person.. I just cant stop thinking about her. my love.

    All these depressing and suicidal feelings are coming back.. I feel trapped in this life. I just want to end it.. But I can't put my loved ones through hell.. I just wish there was a way..
  2. darkarma

    darkarma Member

    Forgot to mention.. All i've been doing the last few weeks is drinking.. and cutting.. taking pills.. and I can't stop it. Its the only way I feel.. in peace..
  3. DepressionII

    DepressionII Well-Known Member

    How long ago was this breakup?
  4. darkarma

    darkarma Member

    Two weeks ago.. basicly as soon as we broke up.
  5. DepressionII

    DepressionII Well-Known Member

    Of course you are feeling like this. It will really fucking hurt for a while, judging by the way you described your feelings for her. Although its not so much healthy to take pills and drink and cut and all this shit, I more than most, understand how much it helps.

    It will get better. Sadly, it may take many months to do so. You should cease all contact with her, mourn for your loss, and move on when the time is right. Continue to ''harm'' if it helps, but only in moderation - obviously you know your limits better than me, but don't go topping yourself. There really will be more women for you, in any place. If you got a relationship for that intensity at that age, you must have done SOMETHING right. Just don't do anything irreversible that might fuck it up.

    This probably sounds like bullshit coming from some guy on the internet. But seriously, it does get better.
  6. darkarma

    darkarma Member

    I really hope it does.. but the thing is.. I don't wanna get over. shes just.. everything. If she died right now I'd honestly kill myself to be with her.. thats how much she means to me.. but it just hurts that all these emotions.. these feelings.. are one sided. oh and I hardly know my limits..
  7. DepressionII

    DepressionII Well-Known Member

    It's okay to be like that if you know shes coming back, like if shes in jail or something. But, although it is shit to not want to get over it, and totally understandable, sadly it must be done. Don't try to block her out of your mind. Despite what the intention is, to forget about her, usually that just makes things worse. Just think of her neutrally....and over time, it passes.
  8. darkarma

    darkarma Member

    I wish I knew how to think of her like that.. but I don't know how..
  9. dips

    dips Active Member

    Hi darkarma,
    how are you?
    I have a similar problem as yours. I keep thinking of him day andnight.

    When I am in deep anguish about not been able to forget him, I remind myself of other ppl who also, think of someone whom they can never meet. And it brings relief to me.
    I found your post here and it will be very helpful for me to know about you.

    Please reply,
  10. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member


    I know how hard it is to get over someone you deeply care for. You are only hurting yourself by thinking of her. It is not healthy to cut and take pills and drink all the time. You are wearing your body out. If it is meant to be, it will find a way.
  11. dilbertrob

    dilbertrob Member

    darkarma, I know exactly what you are going through, my wife left after seven years of marriage with no reason. I was destroyed by it and had been suicidal for the past 4 weeks. I find that keeping busy with other things helps to numb the pain. It is always worse when you are alone or bored. I have poured myself into all kinds of activities from sports to animals to anything to stay busy. It has been 4 months since she left and I am finally starting to get better. There are still days where I want to end it, but they are getting fewer and fewer. Hang in there, it will get better, I promise.
  12. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Dil I needed to read that. My hubby left 2 months ago and everytime I think I've got my head round it something comes along and smashes me up again. Please God in 4 months this terrible feeling of loss will ease.
  13. xlegox

    xlegox Member

    I dated a girl in high school,..I had a crush on this girl since Freshman year,she was an academically smart girl, I was some dork who could day a friend who was in Newspaper class brought me up there to meet some of the people there because he wanted to try to get me to be the Artist for the School Newspaper,(this was my Junior year)...I look around the classroom BAM! there she sits,I basically took this class just to have the oppertunity to get to know her,...long story short, I lost my virginity to her :wink:

    this girl was everything I ever wanted and even knew that at a young age,..when our relationship didnt work out, it hit me hard,I couldnt eat or sleep.I spent the last few years after that thinking about her,I was torn,we all know what its like to be torn over someone (I'm going threw it with a girl now , whose been just a friend,but I have so much love for her and its not working out, so I had to terminate our friendship altogether because of my feelings for her,..its making me trigger hardcore right now) anyway I digress,...but this girl in highschool,tore me up for years later,..after awhile you get used to feeling that pain, then one day you look back when you dont feel that way,and you "miss" the pain,..its and odd feeling,but I have a feeling you can get over this girl.

    I know I'm calling the kettle black by saying that seeing as though I cant get over this girl I have feelings for now,but I've already given suicide my option to escape her and bullshit in my life, maybe everything I just said, is meaningless ya know? :sad:
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