true love...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by vbuk, Nov 11, 2007.

  1. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    i love you and i wish i could tell you. i wish you could hear. i wish you could see me. i love you for everything that you are - but i just wish for one day i had you back. you dont know me anymore - you know i existed but you dont know who i am. i cherish every moment i spend with you but when i leave you dont know i was there.

    My gran has Alzheimers. she is also partially blind and her hearing isnt good. she lives in a care home and i go see her every week. she is 94 and is starting to look tired when we visit. she spends most of her days walking around the corridors and she seems perfectly happy doing so. i wouldnt change her for anything. but i would love - just for one day to be able to tell her i love her. for her to understand. i walk with her holding her hand. we dance and we sing. she is so so active. she smiles so much. she has such beautiful eyes. i give her a kiss on the cheek and she gives me one back.

    everytime i see her i think - is this the last time? i pray for it to not be. i pray that next week she will be there for us to dance and sing.

    We give her jelly babies and she doesnt eat the head. makes me giggle. and you can be sat real quiet and she turns and just says 'ive got no teeth'.

    She doesnt know who i am - she thinks im a man!

    im so scared im going to lose her. i know it will happen but i dont want it to happen. i know i have to accept it. i just want to keep my gran. i love her.

    I love you Grandma. always in my heart
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    It's horrible knowing you are going to loose someone you love. You know the story about my Nan so I kind of know how you feel.

    Also my Mum's partner has Alzheimers, though I don't see him much I know what this disease can do to people and it's hard to watch.

    I know we don't talk much anymore, but I am here if you need anyone to talk/rant/shout/cry at. Anytime.

    Take care and try to enjoy any lucid moments your Gran has.

    Sam :hug: :hug:
  3. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    :sad: :sad: I'm so sorry, I can imagine how hard that must be. (Not saying I know, because I honestly don't, but I know it must be hard.)
    Just try and enjoy the time you do have. If you spend your time with her now worrying about when it will end, you will regret it later. Worrying about it will only hurt you, so enjoy the fact that she's still here. :hug:
  4. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    thanks guys. means alot.

    i am trying to live every day to the max with her. just some days i sit and think about it all.

    Love Clare xxx