I've never been so depressed in my life. I've been unemployed now for almost 4 months; my best friend doesn't care about me anymore nor talks to me after confessing to her that I was in love with her. It hurts so bad that she doesn't care about me anymore and doesn't reply to any of my texts. I felt like she was the only person in this world that could keep me content (although it wasn't her job to begin with) but we were really close and had a really good thing going. She lives in another state and has had a boyfriend for as long as I've known her. It was my fault that I fell for her but I am a human being after all and can't control with how I feel. I loved caring about this girl and it made me so happy despite the fact that I would never share that love with her. But to be fair though, there are so many other things in my life right now that made me give up on life apart from that. For instance, I live in a living room with 4 other siblings and never have privacy to myself and since I'm unemployed at the moment, that's not going to help out any time soon. I live with a super strict father, my grandma and two bothers. My mother, grandma, myself and my middle brother help with rent since my father always complains about money and always talks about moving out. It has got to the point where he is now only paying 400 for rent (that's 1500), and he still wants it to be his house and gives us all a hard time. I'm overweight and I have a super low self esteem. I haven't had a girlfriend in almost 10 years and I just turned 27 last month. I am so unhappy with my life that I have thought about committing suicide. I'm so desperate that I'm posting these personal issues on the internet just to let it out because I have no one else to express it to at the moment. I do have a best friend that I've known since being a teenager, but he has his own family to worry about now so I can't talk to him all the time. I know that feeling so sorry for myself isn't going to help at all, but when you truly start to give up on yourself, it feels like every hope that you had for yourself isn't possible anymore. Depression is no joke and I honestly can't handle it anymore. Earlier today I got into a physical fight with my brother because I tried to teach him a lesson on how to see how he should act towards others. He has been babied his whole life and is now a grown adult by age but since he's the youngest one out of us (three brothers), my grandma and mother love to treat him like a child. He was never taught how to act towards older people and hates it when someone tries to tell him wrong. He is very lazy and has no morals in life. Anyhow, he took something from the kitchen and never put it back after using it, so I went into his room and asked if he had it. After he gave it back to me, I told him that he needs to always put it back and it's not that big of a deal, that he always does it with the hot sauce bottles as well and he threw a tantrum saying not to accuse him of doing that when I see him doing it all the time. The fact that he always lies to me as well and gives me the worst attitudes I've ever seen is what really worries me about him because if he doesn't know how to cope with being wrong, then he can end up getting killed by talking to the wrong person. Anyhow, he started arguing and then got into physical contact. Afterwards he called my mother telling her what happened. She told me that she wants him to move in with my grandma into a studio apartment and for me and my other brother to find our own places to live. Like I said earlier, I'm currently unemployed so that's another thing that I have to worry about now. It's not so much that I'm worried about what's going to happen, but more that I'm getting tired of problems piling up. I've had unemployment insurance for the past month and use it to pay off my bills and towards the rent. I don't really get a lot of spending money because I don't get much, but at least it is helping with the bills. EDD has also been trying to help me find a job and I've been applying. I actually hate being home and not doing anything with my life I'm a very hard worker and love to work. The issue is that I never graduated from high school so I'm always stuck with dead end jobs so I'm trying to find something better than minimum wage labor with no benefits and nothing to look forward to in the future. I ask myself everyday if it will be worth it; to end my suffering from this world. I don't see any sort of hope for me to have happiness and reach my goals in life. I truly ask myself if I should just give up and not have to worry about this shitty life anymore.