Truly uncertain...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Ordep, Dec 25, 2012.

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  1. Ordep

    Ordep Well-Known Member

    A friend of mine has dissapeared...

    Rather, I havent heard from this person in almost a month. Before anyone asks we're online friends but we've met IRL before, went on vacations togheter and were planning on meeting again soon. Then it all stopped without any warning. No emails, no texts, no nothing. At first I tought it was a break and a need for some "alone" time. It happened before. Then I tought maybe its because we're near exam season (for which I should be studying btw...) and yesterday I sent a nice Christmas message (I use christmas as my thanksgiving day, since its a lost holiday for me otherwise) where I couldnt help but mention the silence. Afterwards the anxiety over it grew tenfold so today I finally cracked and texted, basically pleading for proof of life. No response, Im at a loss.

    I should explain why this is taking such a toll on me. Ive had several "best friends" in my life, people who kept me going and allowed me to be myself, and while they were all so different among themselves, the one thing they all have in common is that they all just went away uncerimoniously, leaving me to figure out that they were off life rather then letting me know. Some paid lip service and pretended everything was fine for a while, others just stopped talking one day, but they all just left. This makes absolutely no sense, but Im afraid this has happened again...

    I dont know what to do, Im at a complete loss and this is eating me alive at the worst possible time... I was uncertain about posting this, as it can easily backfire, but I just cant keep it inside anymore.
  2. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi Pedro - I am sorry that this has happened to you more than once and I know it can leave you feeling devastated and at a loss to know how to make sense of it all. People will be people and do things that we consider are irrational, and we will never know their reasons. I reckon you have done all you can do, and the ball is in their court. If you keep texting with no reply I don't think it is likely to help at all - meanwhile it's an opportunity to strengthen your heart as far as this sort of thing is concerned and "just" allow people to go where/when they will, with an open hand, without taking their rejection of the relationship too hard. I know it isn't easy, but it can - as all things can - be seen as a learning curve hun :)
  3. Ordep

    Ordep Well-Known Member

    Its really not about coping. Im actually dealing sorta kinda decently enough. Studying helps me take my mind off it. I may call in sick when people start talking about new years eve celebrations, cause im in no mood to party, but Im functional. I guess experience does count for something.

    What bugs me is how impossible this whole thing sounds. It sounds terrible to even think about it, but the only way this makes sense is if something terrible happened to this person and the phone was lost when that happened. I mean, this person does have a history of mental distress, but that seemed to be mostly done with and I doubt itd ever go as far as completely ending all contact without so much as a word of goodbye. I refuse to believe thats how it went, it makes no goddammed sense, there was no indicator in any previous conversation, nothing.

    I really dont know what to wish for at this point, or how to proceed. Part of me just wants to hop on a plane and try to figure out what happened, but its be like finding a needle in a haystack... I posted here because I wondered if someone else has been in this situation before.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I have been in your situation more then i would like hun. It hurts so much when it happens but each time months went by i mean months and no response i thought for sure that these friends had left for good. No hun they were in hospital for months and the other one just fell away from everyone shut off all communication and did not respond to anyone

    I think it was 6mths before i knew this person was alive and the other one was about the same amount of time I hope hun that perhaps this is what is happening to your friend that maybe hospitalization was needed and then there is no way to contact anyone once in there. or technology just shut down this person just did not want to connect with anyone
    I hope you hear soon hun because i know it is hell i do hugs to you
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