Trust can't be brought or earned

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ozinuk, Apr 12, 2009.

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  1. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    I trusted my wife, she made me a promise and decided not to keep it can't trust her word.

    My psychiatrist betrayed my confidence and told my wife my secrets that bring nightmares every time I sleep. I can't trust another psychiatrist again.

    I am truly alone I have no one to trust I don't even trust myself any more. The way out is simple the time isn't right BUT it will be.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm really sorry so many people have betrayed your trust. I know that makes you nto want to trust anyone ever again.

    There are people out there who won't hurt you though. You might not believe it now because of what you've been through. But I hope you don't give up; I hope you give life another chance.

    Here if you ever want to talk.
     
  3. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    I'm finding it increasingly difficult to trust people as well.

    As a kid (mid teens and younger) i was so damn naive and quick to help someone out without expecting anything in return (was anyone else like this as a kid?). Eventually I saw how i was being manipulated and taken advantage of. It was like an epiphany and I can not explain how absolutely violated i began to feel. I quickly realized no one does anything for anyone. Everyone makes decisions with themselves in mind and their own well-being as a singular.

    But that leaves me to wondering if subconsciously i was acting kindly for myself, or if i was truly doing things FOR someone ELSE. Do we learn to make every single decision with our own well-being in mind or is it innate....instinct?

    Either way it leaves me to the end result. Life is just pointless. We are surviving to survive with no end goal (maybe another innate desire?) and on top of it people just can not be trusted.
     
  4. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear you're trust in people has been shattered. I know all too well how that feels but don't give up on everyone. I have problems trusting people but there are some people who I know I could trust my life to. Don't let those who have let you down in the past stop you from finding those who you can trust in the future. You will find that there are some people out there who are worthy of your trust but it is something they must earn. Best wishes.
     
  5. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    All those I truly trusted are no longer around maybe they realised that the only people they could trust were like minded people not wives or medical professionals or priests BUT death it's self. They trusted death to keep their secrets and their problems safe without betraying them and making them public knowledge. Death does not judge you whether you're male, female, black, white, red or yellow, rich or poor it see's beyond all of that and accepts us all as we are. This is what wikipedia says about

    "A trustworthy person is someone in whom we can place our trust and rest assured that the trust will not be betrayed. A person can prove his trustworthiness by fulfilling an assigned responsibility - and as an extension of that, to not let down our expectations. The responsibility can be either material, such as delivering a mail package on time, or it can be a non-material such as keeping an important secret to himself. A trustworthy person is someone that we can put our worries and secrets into and know they won't come out. In order for one to trust another, their worth and integrity must be constantly proven over time."

    I know no one with these qualities any more.
     
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    There are still people with those qualities; mostly those of us who have had our trust betrayed time and time again. We know what it's like to have our trust broken repeatedly, and (at least for me personally), I wouldn't want to do that to someone, to cause anyone that sort of pain.

    I know you've lost all faith in people because of what you've been through, but I hope eventually you will try to trust again.
     
  7. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    As much as I'd like to believe there are people out there who can be trusted I can't put myself in the situation again. I have been knocked to the ground mentally by people I thought I could trust so many times I can no longer trust the so call trusted. I'm sitting here looking at a desk covered the little bottles of options and as I slowly take them I find it hard to concentrate on what I am doing.
    The broken promises and trust are the straw that broke the camels back. Life is now a surmountable object and miss trust is the ice on top of that mountain. I honestly don't know what's gonna happen from here I can only hope the morning never comes.I'm no good in any way shape or form like an ash tray on a push bike useless. I don't know what to do or think any more

    Sorry here I am rambling again
     
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You don't have to apologize. It's okay, you can ramble and we'll listen.

    Please keep talking to us and try not to hurt yourself!! I know you're knocked down right now, but you can get back up.
     
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You don't mention the circumstances in which this trust was betrayed. If there were safety issues involved or something similar to that, then it may have been a case where it was determined the risks of breaking your trust outweighed those of keeping it. Sometimes promises are made that need to be broken depending on the circumstances. That does not make it easier to accept or understand. I am sorry you feel betrayed, but there are trustworthy individuals out there. Don't give up on things. Keep living. :hug:
     
  10. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    :console:hey. .. . i know exactly what it is like to lose trust. to feel like there is no one on the planet that i can really trust.

    i am glad you reached out here. and i hope you find support. i know i have found much support here and even a few trusted friends.

    it is true that in the course of our lives some will betray our trust. the best we can do is try to learn from those experiences, and take the knowledge with us., there are new opportunities everyday as long as we stay alive.
    and we CAN and WILL meet people we can trust. that truly care for us.

    don't give up honey.
    i am here if you want to talk - pm me anytime
    xxx
     
  11. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member


    Here is the shortened version

    There may well be someone out there I can talk to BUT in 2007 my confidence was betrayed by my psychiatrist. Apart from suffering from severe depression I also have the joys of post traumatic stress disorder (due to time in the army) to deal with. Well there are certain parts of my military life I kept private and only shared with my psychiatrist that was until the day my wife started berating and questioning me about things that only I and psychiatrist knew this single act of betrayal set me back on the road I am travelling today. So as a result I have no trust in anyone, if it happened once it can happen again.
     
  12. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    No matter how much I want to believe that there are trusting people out there I truly cannot find it in me to trust. I have sat in my room looking deep inside myself for a reason to trust a professional but no matter what I think or feel trust just doesn't enter the equation. Instead it is anger almost hatred and I cannot get past that. These people think they are so far above others they then become untouchable well to hell with all of them.

    Like me the world would be better off without these parasites (my opinion)
     
  13. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You can't force yourself to trust someone. It has to happen naturally. It sounds like you're still too angry to even begin to trust again (and that's okay; I don't blame you because I probably would be too if I was in your situation).

    If you can't see a professional right now, I hope you'll stay and talk here. At least you can vent here, tell us how you're feeling so you don't keep everything bottled up inside.
     
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