Trust issues and Depression

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DizGuy, Jan 17, 2012.

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  1. DizGuy

    DizGuy New Member

    I have had trust issues pretty much my entire life. When I was young (grade 3) I had a best friend called Jim, we were always together and told each other literally everything. I don't know how this came about, but he ended up spreading multiple rumors about me to the entire school. One that sticks out in particular is that i had supposedly put a vacuum cleaner on my dick at Jim's house and used it to get off, which was blatantly ripped off of a movie that had come out around the same time. These rumors resulted in me being a complete outcast in not only public school but high school as well. I thought I would have a chance to start fresh when i started college, but a few people in my residence where from around my home town, and coincidentally were GREAT friends with Jim.

    The bullying throughout public school and high school was bearable because I always thought I would see the end to it eventually when I went away to college. But just the chance that it could happen again in college has made me extremely introvert. I am afraid to speak to people because everything you communicate gives a small indication into who you are, and your experiences. I analyze everything I say because I am always afraid someone will somehow use it against me.

    I have been severely depressed for the past 3 years now, and even though the bullying has stopped I simply cannot trust anyone ever, under any circumstances. I have not told a single person up till this point, and I know that I will not tell anyone in real life. The closest up to this point, is my sister telling me to stop smoking because it will kill me, to which I just laughed.

    Based on the fact that I can not get any help with this I feel as if its over. And if it`s not going to end on this bout of depression then it will on the next. What is the fucking point.
  2. Apocalypstick

    Apocalypstick New Member

    I saw this and didnt want to read and run. I have trust issues, and I'm severely depressed. I can't say for a fact if one caused to the other but I do know that not everything is fixed forever. There's still hope that either of these problems can be managed, even if they can't be fixed.

    Hope that helps :)
  3. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Welcome to both of you. We are a safe place. You will be able to find people to trust here, I promise.

    We are a community of caring individuals, we try to help each other.

    If there are topics you'd rather not have open to the whole forum, you can private message (.PM) someone, and have a confidential chat.

    I've been bullied, too. You both have made a brave start coming here.

    Please keep posting. I care.
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