Trust Issues and Suicide Help Lines

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by solarflare, Oct 3, 2015.

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  1. solarflare

    solarflare Well-Known Member

    Who can you reach out to when you have absolute trust issues?

    I can not trust anything anyone says. Everyone I know and have trusted has lied to me at least once. Everyone else just lies to me all the time anyway.

    When I had my close call crisis about a week or so ago and I called lifeline I just couldnt get past the initial issue of "why is this guy even talking to me? what motivates him? he doesnt give a sh*t about me as a person just doing his job waiting for his shift to finish". In the end I didn't want to talk to him anymore so I let him complete his little suicide risk assessment, lied through my teeth and got away without having him alert any authorities. The experience left me so shaken I was too scared to do it in the end (I dont know why) and I just went to sleep instead.

    This scared me a lot as this "close call" I hadn't really come as close as I could have to going through with my plan.

    If and when the time comes, what hope is there, will that lifeline be of any use, or is it really a matter of "it only works if you let it work".

    Does any of this make sense?
  2. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    This makes total sense to me!! I am the same as you I don't trust them in the slightest and they are only following procedures and protecting there backside and it makes it so hard when all I have been told is to reach out when you feel this way but I'm so scared that I just can't do it.

    I'm sorry this is not helpful in anyway I just wanted you to know it makes perfect sense to me and your not alone in feeling this way
  3. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    I know it is scary - especially when you don't know what will happen - but sometimes you have to take a risk in order to get a big benefit. Crisis lines are usually manned by volunteers - they are not there just because they are paid to be like call centre staff - they are there often because they know how it feels to need help and have nobody there. They understand how that feels and don't want other people to face that. So they volunteer.

    They do have to follow procedures - but those procedures are there to help. In the end, however much talking people do - help has to be something concrete - medications, therapy, practical help (sometimes its getting the right forms filled out to get the right benefits etc and improving life). Give people the chance to help you - you deserve help.
  4. solarflare

    solarflare Well-Known Member

    I dont feel I need help, still undecided about medications as it may affect my learning abilities (I study full time as well as work full time) although medications have helped in the past. I made it through drug addiction with peer support (NA groups) I think it would work again hence I sought out and found this forum. I just need people like me who can understand me to talk to while remaining completely anonymous. Thats how I feel anyway.

    I did a bit of digging and found lifeline (in australia anyway) is all volunteers who have gone as far as paying for their own training. This is something I can respect and it does give me some hope that I could feel like I could accept what they say rather than reject it.
  5. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    SF is wonderful for talking - the chat room especially is good if you prefer more "instant" feedback. Everyone here is here because of some kind of pain and I think that makes it easier to share - knowing that everyone else knows what it feels like to be right on the edge.

    I hope you find the support you are looking for here :)
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