Who can you reach out to when you have absolute trust issues? I can not trust anything anyone says. Everyone I know and have trusted has lied to me at least once. Everyone else just lies to me all the time anyway. When I had my close call crisis about a week or so ago and I called lifeline I just couldnt get past the initial issue of "why is this guy even talking to me? what motivates him? he doesnt give a sh*t about me as a person just doing his job waiting for his shift to finish". In the end I didn't want to talk to him anymore so I let him complete his little suicide risk assessment, lied through my teeth and got away without having him alert any authorities. The experience left me so shaken I was too scared to do it in the end (I dont know why) and I just went to sleep instead. This scared me a lot as this "close call" I hadn't really come as close as I could have to going through with my plan. If and when the time comes, what hope is there, will that lifeline be of any use, or is it really a matter of "it only works if you let it work". Does any of this make sense?