Trust Issues with women

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by Sashi0, Nov 7, 2007.

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  1. Sashi0

    Sashi0 Well-Known Member

    I apologize to mods and such if this is posted in the wrong place. :sad:

    I have no female friends. At all, like zero. I know I'm not the only one to have this issue but I guess I wanna vent a little and see if anyone has actually gone through what I have.
    I'm 22 years old, and my social life basically consists of me being with my boyfriend every now and then, or in my room. That's all. I don't really have a social life whatsoever. I never had the high school parties, hang outs or anything. No college life either. Ever since I could remember, I could never keep a girl friend. They always ended up somehow F$%^ING me over. I used to always be alone, I would try to make a friend and It would work-for some time. But somehow always, they would start disliking me, treating me bad, ignoring and pushing me away. Even in high school, I made a girl friend and I got so attached. I would do anything for her and loved her, then out of nowhere she started treating me horribly and screwed me over, lied about me and made me look bad to a lot of people. I've been used so many times by girls its ridiculous. Now, if you were to ask how many girls I have as friends I would say zero. Other than a girl working in a video game store that I converse with. It's so pathetic, I want to be friends with girls again- I want to have girl talks and junk but I am just too paranoid now. :sad:

    I always wondered what I did wrong, maybe I never realized I was a bad person to them? I really searched deep down but never really knew why. Girls love hating me. Why?!?!
  2. baofu

    baofu Active Member

    Perhaps you (as you said) get too attached to them? and they misunderstand you?
    My advice, though I can't relate to people my age only to older people, just relax don't think about losing friends or any negative crap. Take a deep breath and be yourself. Shit its already so late! I gotta go sleep, take care.
  3. Foxes

    Foxes New Member

    *head tilt* I'm the same way. I've only ever had one or two friends since first grade and I ended up losing my closest friends in grade school. Since then I've spent my life completely alone. I sort of like it now though, because I'm free to do whatever I please without anyone ever bothering me. Although my circumstances and reasons are probably different from yours, I don't really trust anyone either. Well... It's not so much a trust issue as I simply no longer care anymore. I'm a little too different from everyone to grow attached to them any longer. Hmm... want to try being friends? I use AIM so if you want to talk just PM me and I'll give you my screen name. Oh, and I have high morals... for myself anyway, so I wouldn't betray a friend.

    P.S. I forgot, I'm 19~
  4. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    i'm a girl and always here if you wanna tlk hun :hug:
  5. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    I'm a girl and I have like 2 female friends... all the rest are guys. I just get along better with guys... I did have more female "friends" at school though, but they were never really close. Except the one, but I think some people were passing rumours around that I was lesbian (which isn't true), so that may have affected things a bit. But yeah, I also kinda tended to get attached to people, I think a lot of people find that annoying, so they may end up distancing themselves from you. I eventually figured that out and am now very careful to avoid it.. but I think I may overdo it from time to time and distance myself from people too much. I dunno. It's annoying to have to worry about stuff like that :p
  6. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    I've felt like you. I'd do anything for any friend, distant or otherwise but they end up being complete insensitive idiots :mad: so I end up cutting them off when they start doing their, "oh can we meet now after 5 months of ignoring you because I can just about remember you're alive!" I can remember writing when I was about 12 people use me as a 'safety blanket.' When I was at university I was gradually getting more comfortable/friendly with certain men- there was one who was so nice to me and listened to me rather than the women who didn't like me. Maybe it's the type of girls you make friends with? There are nice people out there, you just have to find them.
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2007
  7. Sashi0

    Sashi0 Well-Known Member

    :smile: I have always gotten along better with males, I was never the hot or pretty girl but the chubby girl that played video games and was neutral. I always wanted to experience the mall hangouts, the shopping, the whole learning how to apply make up together, all that girly junk but I never did. About the whole attachment thing, yeah people started thinking I was a lesbian, but I'm far from it haha. I don't trust people at all anymore, I don't really have friends at all anymore to tell the truth. :sad: I think that's why my boyfriend likes me so much- he has his friends but I have no one but him. He says he loves me and he's all I need but deep down I think he loves my lack of socializing. Am I nuts to think this way??
  8. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    Maybe you could ask him if he felt that way? It is understandable to feel that way. I know what it's like to have no friends- friends that are really friends I mean. It is lonely. I'm a lot like you I didn't do all that girly stuff either but I'm completely open to trying anything out. It's just a certain attitude of some girls that just turns me off and I can't relate to them.

    Anyway, I think you would be a great friend to have around. :smile:
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2007
  9. Sashi0

    Sashi0 Well-Known Member

    :hug: tell me you live in the U.S haha..aww thanks. And yeah, there are specific types of women I steer clear from... in fear of breaking their faces sometimes. :smile:
  10. Moose

    Moose Well-Known Member

    heh me and you are the same..only im younger...but im not doing anything about it and i dont know where to start...
  11. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    I know exactly how that feels. :wink:
  12. incombustible2000

    incombustible2000 Well-Known Member

    I have had the same problem, but I have changed things... one thing you need to relize is there are very few people like you that are emotionel, and some peoploe cannot understand this so they push it away, you have to guard yourself, until you find the right friends, that will be the same as you, and the way you tell what there like, is you act like whatever they do you will put up with, and watch and see what they do with that. when you relize they are no good do not bother with them at all anymore, there are just very few people that are good people, and thats whats up. Birds of a feather flock toghether, and the mean people hang with the mean people... someday you might find the right people. That will treat you right.
  13. XXXXX

    XXXXX Antiquities Friend

    My wife was somewhat older than you, but for most of her life she wasn't "freinds" with many women, at least not good freinds - more that any women she knew were kept as acquaintances.

    She simply got on better with men and men tended to relate to her as a person or "one of the lads" rather than seeing her as a woman and that's where her true friendships came from (and I am not talking about the jiggy jiggy type of "freindship":biggrin:). Not to say she was a tomboy or looked like a fella :blink:.........but then again she could "handle" herself......and had more than her fair share of "issues" but that is all another story.

    Ok, so you are not the same as the Wife, but what I am trying to say is that everyone is different - and that just cos' you are someone who does not gel with Women the same as other Women appear to do does not make you strange.
  14. XXXXX

    XXXXX Antiquities Friend

    Nuts to think that way? no.

    But it doesn't mean to say it isn't true.

    IME some fellas do like their women to not have many freinds of their own.

    Is it a problem? IMO not automatically so - only if it is a problem for you from either him taking advantage of the position or simply you wanting to develop your own circle of freinds and him not letting you.
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