trust issues

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by TryingSoHard, Feb 4, 2008.

  1. TryingSoHard

    TryingSoHard Member

    ok, this may sound like a little strange to some people, i dont know. I have an online relationship with someone i met while in a crisis. She helped me go on and we fell in love. At first we didnt say anything about our feelings because we thought it was strange and wouldnt work out but one day she just came out with it and said how she felt about me. Im glad she did because i never would have because i never thought online relationships couldnt really work out. This was about 4 months ago. we chat every spare minute we have and tell each other everything.

    The thing is, im a bit paranoid at the best of times. She is from another country and will be coming over here to go to uni. it takes a hell of a lot for me to trust anyone but i trust her with anything.but still in the back of my mind i cant help but think she is in it for something else, as well as knowing she isnt. i can see she means it when we speak on cam. i just cant believe someone can love something like me =/ its all too good to be true and im afraid of the thoughts that make me think its all just a ploy. this tears me apart inside. im even afraid of what she will really think of me when we meet for real, we often talk about it. i want to be able to have a good relationship with her because i know these feelings dont come along often. i just dont know what to do

    im a bit confused by the whole thing and i feel dazed sometimes, i dont like doubting this
     
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    There's nothing wrong with questioning and doubting. It's a defensive and protective mechanism. You two speak alot and I presume you've seen eachothers pictures, etc. So that in mind, I don't really see why she would think any differently of you when she meets you in person.

    You said you've spoken about this sort of thing with her. What's her thoughts on this.
     
  3. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend

    Try to relax, you are just nervous that's all.

    This might sound silly, but if you have time on your hands all the time then try not to think about things so much, try to enjoy what you have already, if she comes over to your country, then there isn't any good reason why your relationship should change that much, it will be scarey very scarey, chatting to people online it is much easyer to get very close to people than it is face to face because you tend to be much more open and honest with each other, as the pressure of having to see each onther and be together every day isn't there.

    So try and relax a little, don't build this up into this whole big thing, she likes you for who you are, she must do to spend all that time chatting to you online, you are just a bit scared that if you meet in real life that will change, that understanderable but it doesn't have to be like that, if any thing you relationship might get even better because you have shared so much private stuff with each other already, so in a way you have aready done the hard part in a relationship, trusting her enough to tell her every thing.

    So if I were you, I would try not to over analyse things, relax a bit, try not to get too stressed, she likes you for who you are already, problems and all, so look forward to her arrival, try and have fun together, run with it and see where it goes, it could be the greastest thing that ever happened, lining up ideas about why it might fail, thats just because you are scared and looking for a way out, a way to protect yourself, a good reason not to get out there and risk what might happen in the future in your relationship, in case she hurts you, it's completely natural but try not to listen to that little voice too much, its just fear and selfdoubt