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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ODIECOM, Aug 15, 2009.

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    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    i was in the chatroom for a brief moment and someone was talking about trust.

    the reality of trust is massive. the question is, what do we do when we cant trust anymore?
    for many ppl, the idea of trust was washed away when we were children.

    when we have no trust, it effects more than just our gut feeling. it effects us deep inside. it creates new negative thoughts ... even about ourselves.

    ppl that should love us, dont show it ...
    ppl that we thought were our friends ... turned out to just be intrested in themselves and move on without a word.

    we place care into our hearts and its stolen from us ... through some uncaring person.

    we dont know how to repair such damage.
    we tend to feel as if we are not worthy of anyone. everyone is going to be the same ... so we think.

    we build a wall so high around us to sheild us from harm and to keep our feelings deep inside and to shield us from anyone ... getting to close.. because we already believe ... they will end up leaving anyway, so why waste the time.

    in time that wall we so carefully built, becomes our life. it becomes what we are. never letting anyone in or letting ourself out to take a chance.

    the one thing we have to remember is, WE ARE NOT AT FAULT.
    we cant shield ourself from life forever.. we have to take that step ... baby steps if needed and start moving forward.

    if we become so isolated behind that wall of ours, soon, we wont ever know whats really on the outside. we become afraid of change ... we become afraid of anything or anyone new. our mind then becomes instilled with the idea that everyone is out to get us or hurt us. that simply isnt true.
    it is however a FACT. thats what happens.

    alot of todays general public are self centered. things and ppl just arnt what they used to be.

    in order to trust again, we at some point have to take a chance. not a big one. just here and there. we also have to try and change our thoughts not only about ourself but about others.
    i had to. its hard, but it can happen.

    the worst thing in life is, knowing that we are locked up inside a wall that we created ON OUR OWN. to protect ourself from that which we dont know.

    we end up, becomming just like that wall. feeling every bit of the emotions that we create behind it.
    let yourself breath. allow yourself the freedom of knowing that not everyone is going to be worth a shit. also, allow yourself the freedom of knowing that there ARE plenty of good ppl in this world.
  2. closertolove

    closertolove Well-Known Member

    *thank you*
  3. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Trust no one.
  4. Samsara

    Samsara Well-Known Member

    It's like a big weight lifted off of me :)
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Thank you for your insight ODIECOM. I also would like to add that once people have lost trust in someone or something, it seems that is what we get stuck on. There may be 100 times trust has been earned and kept, but that 1 time is what we remember. We become afraid to trust again. We don't want to risk being hurt again. Change the perspective a bit. Say if you had 100 boxes in front of you. All but one contained a wonderful treasure. The one that didn't, held nothing. An empty box. Would you chance finding that empty box? Why is it that we are so afraid to remember the 99 good times? :dunno:
  6. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    Well said. There have been times that I have been hurt by trusting others, particularly in my younger days . . . but there have also been very good times.
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    TRUST big issue yes and each time it seems i try to have faith in someone some system BAM hit me again pushed right down in the dirt where i came from. Then why do i continue to try because it is only human to want to belong to want to think people are good. I don't give up because out of the 100 of time people failed it is the one person who didn't fail me that gave me the courage to try again. It only takes one persons kindness to show others there is indeed a reason to reach out because that one person kindness can take so much pain away, can start letting some cracks of light in on such a dark day. One person's trust can do so much
  8. sweetpea0

    sweetpea0 Well-Known Member

    This is great. The only thing is I have been hurt so many times with people breaking that trust. It makes you afraid to trust. When people you love break that trust, then how am I to trust anyone.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    that last post is so very true. how do we trust again.

    i dont think theres any real answer to that. you simply test the waters before you get in.
    again, the sad thing about it is, it makes us ... change inside. our emotions change. i have an X friend that was hurt, lost trust, etc. what she did when she thought she liked a certain fellow, she would play games with him. she would test the waters to see how he would respond. from there she would make a decision. sad to say, she hasnt really found a good one yet.
    its trial and error. we learn to NOT get into deep or allow our feelings to get in the way. the bad thing is, sometimes we do miss out because we simply dont trust.

    how do we survive that ?
    we become defensive, we become short with ppl. we may even become insulted easily.

    when we feel that we have noone left to count on, or to trust, we have to stop and realise there is only one person left that we can count on ... THATS US.

    we have to learn how to become strong inside. we have to start working on US. we are the foundation of what is and what will be.
    if we fail to make ourself strong, then just like the broken mirror, we get trampled on time and time again.

    we cant allow ppl to control how we feel. more than likely, when the deal is over, those ppl have moved on and dont even give us a second thought.
    we are left holding the bag that weighs us down.

    we wont allow ourself to release that bag. we continue to harbor feelings towards it.

    we end up making excuses for the way we think and feel. "iam because "
    no one can ruin your life if you dont allow them to.
    you also have to remember that ppl dont like being around upset ppl.

    when carry that heavy bag around all time, it changes everything about us.
    we are afraid to get rid of it. because, we are not sure how to handle anything differant. we are not used to differant.

    its like, i hate this thing, but thats why i keep it.
    it becomes part of us.
    generaly speaking , most of us are at war ... WITH OURSELVES.
    some of us choose to live by our weakness.
    all of this things refer to what can happen and does happen when we are so untrusting.
    it becomes a burden on US. no one else.
    stop and take a good look at yourself. look inside YOU. start building YOU.
    live wont end because there isnt a boy or girl friend in your life.
    there is life for the untrusting.
    its not a shame to be that way. many many ppl are in the same boat.
    you just have to concintrate on you.

    odies thoughts
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Im like you don't trust anyone so much pain and fear but i trusted my therapist and guess what he hasn't hurt me yet hasn't yelled or said mean things I was so fearful at the start now just a little fearful. When i came here god so afraid so hurt because of last forum but i tried and guess what i am glad i trusted these people because so far so good no one has hurt me Unless we try we never know if we could have succeeded. Trust but trust carefully and slowly and as soon as you see signs somethings wrong get the hell out of there because your instincts are usally right take care and know at least we can trust people in here noone will hurt you here.
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