Why do i always get hurt? Why do i always trust others? Why do i believe them? Believe in them? Why can i not see that not one person has ever loved me? Why do i always open up my heart and let it get hurt? Why can i not just be mean? Why do i always have to be the one who gets hurt? I try , do i not try to be a good person? What have i ever done to deserve so much pain? hurt ? Why did i have to be the one who ended up with cancer? Given my past no one is going to believe it , heck i am not worth anything to anyone. I tried to be honest here but now i have posted something that was not true and i thought it was. I have so much guilt in me now. it is like i can not ever do anything right. I wanted others to know that i was touched by someone. I wanted them to know that he had touched me in my heart and i wanted him to be a good memory , yet it was a lie. i practically posted a lie and i had made a promise to God to never post anything that was not true again , now i broke that promise to you God. I am worthless. I just can not trust anyone. how can i? How can i ever trust again. God i hurt , i hurt so much. this pain is killing me inside. it is slowly killing me. Why let me suffer like this , why??