Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Shiznuts, Apr 20, 2007.

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  1. Shiznuts

    Shiznuts Guest

    The topic today in Gullixson's class was: How would you see yourself in ten years?

    LOl. I was BORN under God's wrath and I'll DIE under his wrath. I was never meant to be of significance to anyone- not even to myself. I was destined for this lifestyle, destined for this fate. The least I can do in any given situation is save myself from further pain. So I think I should end it now while I still have a bit of something to live for because I don't think I can bear the Awful Silence that will plague me in the future. Hehe don't except anyone to understand what I'm saying, rather complicated situation lol no one will believe me anyway. 10 years from now...a rather depressing thought. Ten years and I'll be an estranged loner caught up in my own solitary fantasy world of introspection and meaninglessness, my family isolated from me on my own volition, and just another useless speck in the eye of the world. Religion is worthless. God does not exist.

    Ten years from now...What a lovely thought. I would have already went through the worst of worst then. Better to just end it now while I still have a bit of sanity and youth left.

    Few weeks or months from now I will be sent to a mental facility because no one will believe my account of being stalked by certain people. They won't believe a word I say. Few weeks or months from now my report card will come out. And I will sink further into depression. Few days or weeks from now I will go completely berserk and might even go on a murder rampage. That is another way I can get killed- get shot down by the police. A few hours from now I will go semi-crazy because of my mother- her constant migraine-inducing rants and complaints and general insanity will drive me over the brink. Certain people that have come into my life has messed me up even more and drove one step closer to true sanity.

    Hell or no hell, oblivion or no oblivion, does not matter at all. Not anymore. Death is death, breaking away from this world is what matters. Nothing else rings more true than this. This, is the nirvana- the essence of truth. Death, is freedom. Death, is the key to a vast ocean of nothingness. I want to sink into that ocean.
  2. Robin

    Robin Guest

    I thought nirvana was a place we choose to leave so that we may return to earth and help those in need, making us in essence, good to the core? Pills might know more (I saw a post of his today that seemed like he was interested in such arguments), will pm him the link to this thread after I've posted :)

    I'd rather not talk about my view of hell as it's the scariest thing I can think of and then some, far worse surely than anything you'd have to endure on the planet.

    Hoever, I'm starting to believe hell was a concept created by the church back in the day to keep the masses of peasants in line and not something I can envisage an all knowing and compassionate being sending people to who have clearly suffered enough.
  3. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest

    I am not sure of your point but lets go with you asking where we see ourselves in 10 years. I still see myself dead long before the 10 years. I would like to see a better future but I know that is going to take alot of work on my part. If I am able to get past the depression and suicidal thoughts, I would like to think I would get involved in social services. I did some volunteer work with the Salvation Army and meeting with so many people that had so many problems, some just like me, made me want to help. I guess giving back is a dream for me if I can learn to survive.

    I know your 10 year future does not look promising but I hope something changes in your life that gives you another chance at loving life. If your feelings continue to be so dark as when you mentioned a murder spree, I pray you will seek help before taking any action. Yes futures can look hopeless but sometimes all it takes is one small change to redirect the path you are on. I wish you the best.
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