Lived with my gf for 3 years, first year was awesome. Second year there were problems, but not related to our relationship. Then third year I was depressed due to my situation in life, with job, education and stuff. I was trying to find out what I want to do in life, during that time I acted as major dick towards my gf. I found out my purpose I found out what I want to become and right before things could start getting better my gf said she wants a break for a while. So I thought ok this will make us stronger and bring us together. I patiently stay away from contacting her for a month. When I finally contact her she rejects me, she wants to be friends she does not love me anymore bla bla bla. When I visited her at her work I talked to her and she looked and acted totally different, like shes not the same person anymore. I mean she actually looks different, I dont know if anyone noticed. Her face is different. I totally made her this way, I created a monster. I cannot forgive myself, neither can I stop Loving her. And she wont give me any chance of doing anything, I talk to her like I never talked before. I became so open like I have never been before, I have realized that I have lost most precious most important thing in my life. And what kills me is that I was only like 2 months late. 2 months ago you see, she was going to go live with her parents. I was totally an empty shell then so I told her if she does that were over (there were some other motivations behind this as she was acting very cold towards me or so I though, I don't know I was too busy finding myself) But when we reached her parents door we busted in tears and I could see it her eyes how much she loves me. So we didn't separate then. Now 2 months later I am a changed man, happy, active, loving, caring, and I don't get any chance to make it up to her. When she talks on chat she is like a person I never knew, its not her its someone else. I guess she is angry at me, because the woman I knew would give me a chance. Because she is a generous and nice soul. All I want is proof, I want a date, I want to see her not caring and being cold to me. All the chat talk is nothing to me its air, I want totally intimate circumstances I want no distractions, no one but us. Only then can I believe this is over. I know I wont let go that easily, but I would still like some opinions. I refuse to give up on something so important to me, I wont forgive myself if this ends. I will always wait for her. I will always love her. I was so close yet I am so far away now. I can still feel a part of her living inside me. If only I was the person I am now 2 months ago I could have made her the happiest girl on the planet. A chance is all I want its all I need its all I hope for. My Depression has cost me everything and I think I deserve a chance. I also feel deep shame for being a goddamn wussy.