try it all

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by freefalling, Jan 27, 2009.

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  1. freefalling

    freefalling Active Member

    I am going to my first meeting/group for depession tonight.I am finally come to the decision that I do NOT want to die by my own hand and I am now willing to try anything.I am sick of people seeing all the scars on my arms and looking at me as if I have got two heads.I know that my sons too will ask when they get older why I have those scars and the thought of that day scares me also.But I owe it to them,and myself,to try everything and try to overcome these crippling thoughts of self harm and suicide.
    A part of me is not looking forward to the meeting,but then another part of me is hungry to try and obtain as much information and support as I can to try and help me through the dark days.I hope that I find some answers because life inside my head is bearly tolerable,but I owe it to the ones that I love to try it all.
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Good luck freefalling on going to the group support meeting. I think it will help to talk to real people, face to face about how you are feeling and about your scars. I hope it goes well. Let us know how it goes. :hug:
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    How brave and of luck, J
  4. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    I wish I had your courage freefalling! well done :) Please post again to let us know how it went.

    Lea :hug:
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Good luck with the group!!! I tried two different ones but couldn't hang because of my socialphobia. I do know it has helped many that I met while in the hospital. Try and think of topics you want to dicuss before you go, it helps a little because I am sure you will be a little nervous. Take care!!~Joseph~
  6. porcelain child

    porcelain child Well-Known Member

    Wow brilliant hunni...

    I am so proud... good luck..

    Let us know how it goes...

  7. freefalling

    freefalling Active Member

    well I went to the meeting the other night and it wasn't to bad.It was good to see that I wasn't alone and that others were feeling the same pain.I have lived with this infliction for more years than I care to remember but right now I am trying to break the cycle.I no longer want to hide away in my bed or go through the indignity of another stay ina psych ward.
    The greatest fear I have at this time is that I will someday kill myself,but the fear is not for my own mortality,but for the lives of my kids.I am afriad that they might grow up with the shame of my death and result in them taking their own lives.
    As a parent I think I have to do everything within my powers to shield my kids from any future problems.I won't lie,I found the meeting uncomfortable but I will go back next week and hopefully in time I will feel a bit more comfortable and with any luck,get some help to live a bit better with my condition.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm glad your group therapy session went well :)

    Keep going, and hopefully you'll see results soon xx
  9. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    You did something different, you got out of your comfort zone, and the fact that it was uncomfortable was probably a good thing. I think by you taking responsibility for yourself you are showing just how amazing you really are and there is a fighter deep inside of you. Bravo for taking this first step, keep at it. Don't quit, you have just begun!
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