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Trying Again

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#1
I've been out of my career for about two years. I thought I'd just move on and do something new but doing temp/other jobs made me realize just how passionate I was about it. I compared every job to my previous career and would even be embarrassed to tell people that I no longer worked in the industry. Even though the state licenses cost a lot of money I have kept renewing them each year. Long story short I left my job early August and just started working part time job at a Co-Op to pay bills in the meantime. I have been looking for jobs but find myself hesitant to apply to anything that wasn't in my original industry. I'm a little rusty but I can read over the laws and am confident I can pick it back up quickly.


I've written about the extensively before so I'll be brief: the first company I worked for in the industry racial discriminated against me and customers of the same background (also against LGBTQ+) and the second company was a very toxic environment. There was a lot of drama and fighting, an assistant supervisor was confrontational with me on a daily basis, and the wage was so low I couldn't pay my bills.

One of my best friends who still works in the industry gave me her manager's business card. We talked about it before and she said she'd put in a good word for me. For years I have known this company to have a great reputation, it's family owned, and my friend absolutely loves working there. I know there's no guarantees that I will feel the same way, but it feels more comfortable for me to apply because of this knowledge. However I'm so terrified of actually doing it and making the move. I'm terrified of it not working out and then me disappointed my friend and the company. In a way she's putting her reputation on the line to get me in there and I'm very grateful but it also makes me wonder if I should go somewhere IDK anyone and no one knows me. This also terrifies me because of what has happened in the past.

I have not worked in a good environment or had a job I liked for almost 5 years. At the same time I have an undeniable calling to be in this industry so I know that I'll be excited and eager to dive in, not my usual "just another job" attitude I've had for the past few years. Please help me stop freaking out!! I have self doubt and feel cynical because of what has happened to me in the past! I'm basically at the door but am struggling to open it because I'm expecting something bad on the other side.

Any advice about picking up after being out of the game for a while will be appreciated too.
 

MisterBGone

Well-Known Member
#2
Sorry to hear about the previous two disastrous stops! I swear - sometimes. . . (You can’t make this stuff up?) / unless you underestimate the power of “hate!”

Here’s what I would do... I of course, am not you (so, just keep that in mind!) : )
I would give this lead a go🤞Based on your friends input & advice. Given that you trust her and her credibility means something (versus the unknown). You can’t let the past dictate the future—in terms of fear, preventing you from a great opportunity. What if it’s as great, or anywhere near as great as she says and thinks it is? I understand, however, the other side of it. So it is up to you to weigh the benefits one way or the other. What you could do, is to try it out (& I’m guessing you’d know pretty quickly if it was not right for you - or anything felt, “off,” or “wrong,” etc.!)

...And so in this event, you could look to leave and find something else maybe a little sooner than you otherwise would, in order to preserve the friend/relationship. Though, outside of something catastrophic going wrong, or you simply being completely and utterly incompatible, or sometimes shady / sketchy, I doubt that things would go like this.
The other option of course is if you can find something else worth taking a stab at (albeit blindly - that is, without any inside information). Now, the odds are certainly in your favor to not encounter another like you have before, certainly at your next crack. But even if it does - just “move on!” : )
 

Dark111

SF Supporter
#3
I've been out of my career for about two years. I thought I'd just move on and do something new but doing temp/other jobs made me realize just how passionate I was about it. I compared every job to my previous career and would even be embarrassed to tell people that I no longer worked in the industry. Even though the state licenses cost a lot of money I have kept renewing them each year. Long story short I left my job early August and just started working part time job at a Co-Op to pay bills in the meantime. I have been looking for jobs but find myself hesitant to apply to anything that wasn't in my original industry. I'm a little rusty but I can read over the laws and am confident I can pick it back up quickly.


I've written about the extensively before so I'll be brief: the first company I worked for in the industry racial discriminated against me and customers of the same background (also against LGBTQ+) and the second company was a very toxic environment. There was a lot of drama and fighting, an assistant supervisor was confrontational with me on a daily basis, and the wage was so low I couldn't pay my bills.

One of my best friends who still works in the industry gave me her manager's business card. We talked about it before and she said she'd put in a good word for me. For years I have known this company to have a great reputation, it's family owned, and my friend absolutely loves working there. I know there's no guarantees that I will feel the same way, but it feels more comfortable for me to apply because of this knowledge. However I'm so terrified of actually doing it and making the move. I'm terrified of it not working out and then me disappointed my friend and the company. In a way she's putting her reputation on the line to get me in there and I'm very grateful but it also makes me wonder if I should go somewhere IDK anyone and no one knows me. This also terrifies me because of what has happened in the past.

I have not worked in a good environment or had a job I liked for almost 5 years. At the same time I have an undeniable calling to be in this industry so I know that I'll be excited and eager to dive in, not my usual "just another job" attitude I've had for the past few years. Please help me stop freaking out!! I have self doubt and feel cynical because of what has happened to me in the past! I'm basically at the door but am struggling to open it because I'm expecting something bad on the other side.

Any advice about picking up after being out of the game for a while will be appreciated too.
As you well know there are no certainties in life, you can only give anything your best shot. What are your fears based upon about it not working out?
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#4
I would give this lead a go🤞Based on your friends input & advice. Given that you trust her and her credibility means something (versus the unknown). You can’t let the past dictate the future—in terms of fear, preventing you from a great opportunity.
I have no reason to doubt her and you're right, I am letting what happened in the past hold me back. It's true that I'm unlikely to encounter the same thing and if I do I'm more better equipped to handle it. I also know what to look for now and am more certain of what I want.

What are your fears based upon about it not working out?
I'm glad you asked me this question. The only thing my fears are based on is what happened in the past. That being said I realize that's not a large enough fear to prevent me from giving it a try...
 

Dark111

SF Supporter
#5
I have no reason to doubt her and you're right, I am letting what happened in the past hold me back. It's true that I'm unlikely to encounter the same thing and if I do I'm more better equipped to handle it. I also know what to look for now and am more certain of what I want.


I'm glad you asked me this question. The only thing my fears are based on is what happened in the past. That being said I realize that's not a large enough fear to prevent me from giving it a try...
What happened in the past?
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#10
I didn't get the job. Not surprising anymore as I seem destined to not be successful. I guess the universe is trying to tell me I'm not meant for this career.
 
#11
I didn't get the job. Not surprising anymore as I seem destined to not be successful. I guess the universe is trying to tell me I'm not meant for this career.
I'm sorry *brohug. Sometimes we fail job applications, but this doesn't mean we are a failure or not destined for success. Maybe the Universe is just saying that wasn't the job for you, rather than the career wasn't for you. Stay safe. Sending hugs *sadhug.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#12
After working in toxic environments in this industry and experiencing all the negativity that I have and not being able to get back in after two years of trying.. having every license but being told I don't have enough experience.. I definitely think the universe is saying this isn't for me. Hell I don't even know if I want it to be anymore. Guess it's time to move on.
 
#13
After working in toxic environments in this industry and experiencing all the negativity that I have and not being able to get back in after two years of trying.. having every license but being told I don't have enough experience.. I definitely think the universe is saying this isn't for me. Hell I don't even know if I want it to be anymore. Guess it's time to move on.
Tell the Universe what you want, don't let the Universe tell you.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#14
Tell the Universe what you want, don't let the Universe tell you.
With all due respect at this stage and with everything I've been through I don't think that's how it works. You could want something and work towards it with all your heart and soul but that doesn't mean you will get the results you desire. I am walking proof of that. Those cliches about achieving anything you put your mind to and the idea that anyone can do anything if they try hard enough just simply is not true. Sometimes things aren't meant to be and people get incredibly hurt. Just the way it is.
 

MisterBGone

Well-Known Member
#15
Sorry it didn’t go as planned with that job. But that’s all it was - one ☝️ job! : ) if you’d really like to continue with, and pursue this passion one day, then don’t give up on it forever, or altogether. If you’re sick & tired of the results at present — then maybe 🤔 move on and try something else, or alternative, until you are feeling better about giving it another go. . . Unless you’ve got other ideas, or interests you might wish to pursue? The sky’s truly the limit here. Which, I realize, might be incredibly warped when you’ve experienced what you’ve just gone through (that roller coaster of emotions). But look at it another way, maybe you’d have always been a little bit apprehensive, or more “walking on eggshells,” in an environment such as that - given the nature of how you got referred to the job, and the nature of your relationship now suddenly being put in a different light? Perhaps better, perhaps not. But most likely still different. How different, and whether or not you’d have appreciated that difference, or whether or not you’d have been able to adjust to it over the long haul, only you could say for sure. For me - I for the most part don’t like to mix various segments, or clusters of my life together, or with one another. In other words, this group of friends doesn’t get to mingle with that, and so on, and so forth. And so for me, personally, I would have preferred to not be put in a position where that additional pressure would’ve been placed upon me to perform and achieve not only under the expectations with which I set forth for my employer, but then also, on top of that — through the prism or under the context / heading of “so & so’s good 😌 best friend!” Again, that’s just me; & I’m completely nuts 🥜 !!;) so just adapt, improvise and continue to roll with the punches. When I was going to go to a health sciences graduate school years ago - which I never did end up going all the way through. . . (But what they told us at the start was, something to the effect of, “You’ve got to do the things in Life you don’t want to do - in order to do the things you do. . .”) I was not willing, for whatever reason, to make that sacrifice. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t be like all the countless rest, that do! :^)
 
#16
With all due respect at this stage and with everything I've been through I don't think that's how it works. You could want something and work towards it with all your heart and soul but that doesn't mean you will get the results you desire. I am walking proof of that. Those cliches about achieving anything you put your mind to and the idea that anyone can do anything if they try hard enough just simply is not true. Sometimes things aren't meant to be and people get incredibly hurt. Just the way it is.
You're right - not everyone can achieve all their goals, however you could still probably get a job in the industry you want eventually. My point was: if you still really want to pursue this career, you shouldn't give up. You could give it some time and get another job in the meantime, or keep applying to similar positions. I'm not saying you didn't try hard enough, but I don't see why you should have to be resigned to never being able to have that career. And I mean you got to the interview stage right? Past the paper sift is a pretty good achievement.
 

tlaud

Well-Known Member
#17
I didn't get the job. Not surprising anymore as I seem destined to not be successful. I guess the universe is trying to tell me I'm not meant for this career.
I have read some of your story, but will never know how it feels from inside. My story isn't the same, but it is unique, and my profession is now over after attempting to resume it the past 5 years. Not all that we desire will come to fruition, and acceptance of here and now isn't always a simple process when we experience loss.

I hope you feel better to continue your journey back to your profession.
 
#18
@tlaud Thanks for sharing and I'm sorry that your profession ended after spending all that time trying to resume it. I give you a lot of credit for continuing to pursue it.. I don't know how you did it for 5 years. My industry is incredibly small and I have pretty much exhausted most, if not all of the options and there are some places where I am not willing to relocate. Ironic that when I was studying/starting this profession I was so excited to have direction and an actual career instead of just a job. Now I'm working a job that requires no experience (there's literally high schoolers working there). I wish I could say my situation was due to the pandemic but I've been floundering for over 2 years. Guess it's time to go back to the drawing board as I'm not willing to bag groceries for the next few years waiting for an opportunity.
 
#19
@tlaud Thanks for sharing and I'm sorry that your profession ended after spending all that time trying to resume it. I give you a lot of credit for continuing to pursue it.. I don't know how you did it for 5 years. My industry is incredibly small and I have pretty much exhausted most, if not all of the options and there are some places where I am not willing to relocate. Ironic that when I was studying/starting this profession I was so excited to have direction and an actual career instead of just a job. Now I'm working a job that requires no experience (there's literally high schoolers working there). I wish I could say my situation was due to the pandemic but I've been floundering for over 2 years. Guess it's time to go back to the drawing board as I'm not willing to bag groceries for the next few years waiting for an opportunity.
Well—no matter what you do, you’re still you! Remember that. . . It doesn’t matter if you’re a lawyer, a hairdresser, a teacher or a waitress; you’re still “You,” doing “you!” So, in other words, while yes 🙌 it is nice to be able to do something we strive for, whether that be by passion, many years of hard work 😓 (in the form of study /& education- training, etc.), many more people throughout the land work jobs they hate. But they can still make the most of them by bringing the best version of themselves to their work. Satisfaction in a job well done. Doing it better than anybody else - either before: or since; as in, “now!” All depending on how much of a “perfectionist,” or pain in the neck, you want to be. . ; ) At some point, the gig is just that! A “gig.” And it’s more about who we are and what we do with it that matters. How our efforts and the way in which we treat others impacts them, and their worlds (& in part, or return, ours!). I know you’re not in the mood for pep speeches or lectures. But it sounds like your experience was somewhat brief or limited in thus destination job, or occupation of sorts. If that is the case - it is entirely possible that had you either stayed there longer, or long enough (were circumstances to have allowed), or you took another and stayed there for a considerable period - it is quite entirely possible that you would have eventually, if not fallen out of love with it. But potentially, perhaps, realized that this dream job, was not all it was cracked up (or cooked up) to be in your head / mind. . . : ) butwhatdoiknow? ; )
 

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